Living on the Edge

I know it's a dangerous time to be a blogger on campus, but I just can't allow the truth to be held back.

What's wrong with Marquette:

• It's cold: Yesterday the high was as 17 degrees Fahrenheit (yes, I am just showing off the fact that I know how to spell Fahrenheit, thanks for noticing) and today, as of 11:20 am, Weather.com reports that the temperature is 9 with a wind chill of -3.
  
  The administration is fully aware of how cold it is in Milwaukee. Yet they do nothing to alleviate the chilliness students must face as they walk to classes that are often several blocks from their homes.
  
  
  
• There are freshmen: Every year the Marquette administration allows nearly two thousand people with absolutely no college experience to live on our campus. The majority of these are mere children, with all the maturity of an eighteen year old. I, a twenty year old sophomore, should not have to navigate my way through dozens of theses campus parasites as I go to my classes. Them and their constant whining, "Which Wehr building is my class in?" "A driver just took my leg off as I was crossing Wisconsin Avenue" etc etc.
  
  
  
• Sodexho food: It's a sad state of affairs when the only real eggs on campus are the ones dripping down Brandon Henak's windows.
  

I know I may have crossed some lines here today, but that's what free speech is all about. If you disagree with me feel free to comment, but I'll probably delete it.

Go Ask Alice. . . When She's Ten Feet Tall

I'm in the middle of taking a survey about drug and alcohol use on campus which I was randomly selected for. I think they will also be emailing me a small cup with a lid that I'll have to email back full.

Whoever was writing the survey seems to have been on drugs themselves. Many of the questions that would seem to require the possibility of a "maybe" or "don't know" answer are simple yes/no. For example, the question "Does alcohol make you sexier?" Well, I don't drink so I really don't know. Maybe it would, although I can't imagine a possibility in which I would be more attractive than I already am.

Another "question" in the alcohol section was "doesn't interfere with my life." Now, not only is that not a question, it's not even a sentence. But even more confusingly, the possible choices are "yes" and "no." Yes, alcohol doesn't interfere with my life? No, alcohol doesn't interfere with my life? No, alcohol does interfere with my life? Yes, this survey does interfere with my sanity?

In conclusion, be like this guy and don't do drugs.

Carpenter Rocks

And rattles too. I can feel it shaking under my feet right now. Probably from the construction nearby, but I'm still on the line with FEMA about earthquake preparations. You never can be too paranoid safe. And while we're at it, I think I'm going to get my bird-flu shot.

My Life Philosophy

People often approach me on the street and ask "Aaron, do you have a philosophy in life?"

"Of course I do," I tell them as I scramble to think of something clever. "Life is like a. . . pudding bowl. Yeah, umm. . .where the cruddy stuff forms on the top. So. . . uhhh. . .dig deep and feast upon the good stuff," I lie.

Well now I don't have to lie anymore. I've decided on a life philosophy. And all thanks to Dilbert.



I don't even have to work to accomodate my life to this new philosophy. I've been doing this all along.

A Humbling Experience

Those pesky comment-spamming programs are affecting people all over the internet. In fact, one of the blogs this site links to, We Are Marquette, just had to do the same thing. I've always had my suspicions, but leaving posts about exactly the same thing just days apart has proven once and for all that Caruso is a lot funnier than me.

It Would Be Blackmail Material, But He's Not Ashamed

Jeff, my RA is preparing early for Halloween. He hit the jackpot with a visit to the thrift store.

No Shirt, No Shoes, No Comment

I'm sorry for the added inconvenience of commenting. I was resisting for a while, but I finally gave in and enabled the word verification option on my blog. The reason I had to do this was because of all the spam comments I'm getting. I'm not sure what my best defense is against this. If anyone knows a better way than to use word verification, please take the time and effort to comment it to me.

Do or Dilate

I had an eye appointment today. As a part of the checkup, the doctor (or optometrist or whatever) put these drops in my eye to numb them and dilate the pupils. The effect set in after about 15 minutes and I passed all the glaucoma, cataract, diabetes, etc. tests with flying colors.

The problem was that now I was going to be set loose into the sunlight with pupils incapable of contracting. Fortunately, the doctor was prepared. She handed me a pair of ROLLENS sunglasses. They were extremely stylish and fun (as the pictures on their website might suggest). They also made me looke like a Robocop-inspired reincarnation of Ray Charles.



Fortunately, I ran into a street vendor in a white pimp suit selling sunglasses for $2-5. I went for some top-of-the-line aviators. I'm sure I don't say this enough, but I'm awesome.

Actually There Are 165A0DC00 People. . .

There are 10 kinds of people in this world. . .those who know binary and those who don't.

Compliments of Ryan.

At Least Dolphins Don't Make Me Cry

My roommate walked in on me yesterday while I was putting away laundry and singing to Hootie and the Blowfish.

Me: I don't know why, but I've just been in the mood for Hootie.
Mike: It's so wrong, but it feels so right.

Look Out, Dial-up Users

It stormed last night. We didn't get hit with much rain (compared to what the radar was showing) but it lightninged for almost two hours. Here are a couple of strikes that I managed to get on (digital) film.





I got video too.

Some of my roommate's pictures.







It's really hazy today.


Photos 1, 2 and 6 and video ©Aaron Morey 2005
Photos 3, 4 and 5 © Michael Sharkey 2005

Not As Bad As People Say!

Those glowing words of praise on IMDB.com describe the movie I'm watching right now: Demolition Man.

The idea is that Sylvester Stallone is cryogenically frozen, then brought back to fight the escaped prisoner Wesley Snipes.

Some of the highlights came from the action movie banter in the first futuristic fight scene. Snipe's character, Simon Phoenix, (who, coincidentally, rises from the dead!) yells as he shoots at Stallone "Simon says bleed!" When he recognizes Stallone as his old archenemy, he quips "Man, they'll let anybody into this century." Stallone retaliates, saying "You're on TV!" as he swings a television by the cord, striking Snipes in the face.

On another note, the president of this futuristic Los Angeles dressed like a cross between Hamid Karzai and the Pope.

EDIT: Stallone just used the phrase "hunka chunka."

Everybody Thinks I'm Up to No Good

After my brush with the FBI's Book Brigade, I'm apparently on some kind of federal watch list. I signed up for an Apple Developer Connection account today, because I wanted to download Apple's Java development stuff for free. It's a pretty good deal, I think. I found this in the Membership Agreement fine print:

You also agree that you will not use these products for any purposes where prohibited by United States law, including, without limitation, the development, design, manufacture or production of nuclear, missile, chemical or biological weapons.

Don't look at me, I'm still trying to pass Computer Science 065.

Copy and Paste Makes Blogging Easy

I was reading IMDB.com today and I came across the entry for Shallow Hal. There was nothing special in particular about the entry except for this user posted comment:

---

[T]he film reinforces the same notions of beauty that it claims it is trying to undermine. Also, all fat people are not nice with a "good sense of humour", this is as HUGE stereotype. I am fat, unpleasant and not funny.

---

Source.

Ketchup Trousers?

Don't you love how British people speak?

---

From: Amner, Jenny
Sent: 03 June 2005 10:25
To: Phillips, Richard
Cc: *LON - ALL USERS 3RD FLOOR
Subject: RE: Ketchup trousers

With reference to the email below, I must apologise for not getting back to you straight away but due to my mother's sudden illness, death and funeral I have had more pressing issues than your £4.

I apologise again for accidentally getting a few splashes of ketchup on your trousers. Obviously your financial need as a senior associate is greater than mine as a mere secretary. Having already spoken to and shown your email and Anne-Marie's note to various partners, lawyers and trainees in ECC&T and IP/IT, they kindly offered to do a collection to raise the £4. I however declined their kind offer but should you feel the urgent need for the £4, it will be on my desk this afternoon.

Jenny

-----Original Message-----

From: Phillips, Richard
Sent: 25 May 2005 15:27
To: Amner, Jenny
Subject: Ketchup trousers

Hi Jenny

I went to a dry cleaners at lunch and they said it would cost £4 to remove the ketchup stains. If you cd let me have the cash today, that wd be much appreciated.

Thanks

Richard

Richard Phillips
Senior Associate
Commercial Department
Baker & McKenzie
100 New Bridge Street
London EC4V 6JA

---

Note also the use of the phrase "email row" later in the article.
Thank you, Snopes.com

The Greatest Thing Ever

The Perry Bible Fellowship

Should Have Been More Discreet?

I am apparently a part of a massive math book smuggling scam. In order to save $40, I returned the book I bought at my campus bookstore. Instead, I bought a book from Amazon.com. What the seller didn't tell me was that I had ordered the "International Edition." When the book came in, I realized the difference but I didn't worry too much about it. All of the problems and examples were the same. What was the difference?

Well, I still don't know what the difference is but I did find this label:


I'm hoping "the man" isn't reading my blog because I could be in trouble for some reason. And while he's searching my room he'll see that I removed the tag from my mattress.

Pusto Fan Club

Dr. John Pustejovsky (Dr. Pusto for short) of the German Department (if there is one here) is my favorite professor I've ever had at Marquette (out of a dozen or so)(Yeah parentheses!). When I had a problem with getting a tested-out-of German class put onto my transcript, he helped me out. He taught me more German in one semester than I had learned in two years of high school. He is so cool he even has a page of the Marquette website in his honor. So needless to say, I have a lot of respect for him.

If it's even possible, I just gained more respect for him today. I walked into the Eucharistic chapel at the AMU and found him there, praying a rosary. Turns out he's not only a great teacher, an intelligent man, a nice guy and extremely helpful, but also a devout Catholic. I also hear that he's working on disarming Iran's nuclear program and single-handedly guarding every inch of our nation's borders. Those could just be rumors, but I'm not prepared to dismiss them without further investigation.

More Milwaukee Skyline

Sunset over Wisconsin Avenue.
©Aaron 2005

Crass Glass Avarice

I noticed as I was buying lunch today that our local George Webb is running a scam.

I had stopped in to buy some chicken strips after I missed lunch today. They took my order, I paid and I sat down to wait for the strips to come. On a shelf at the side of the store were George Webb products--glass tumblers, metal thermos mugs and water bottles.

The tumblers (not bad looking glasses) go for $4.95. Not unreasonable at all. I'm sure you wouuld get some quality drinkage from them and they appear to hold a generous amount of your beverage of choice. The problem is in the bulk packaging. The $4.95 glasses also can be purchased in a package of four (all the same glass, same logo, etc.) for "only" $19.95. In other words, to buy four of them gets you a price hike of $.15.

Not much of a scam, I guess, but it's a problem. We as consumers expect to save money by buying more of stuff. That's the whole point of Sam's Club, right? If the government doesn't mandate that more stuff should cost less, I'm going to have to take matters into my own hands and not buy those tumblers. Or maybe buy them one at a time on four seperate visits.

The View From My Room At Night

©Aaron 2005

I Couldn't Possibly Make This Up

(Note the Photoshop skillllzzz on the phone numbers.)

Blah

I'm still washing the icky taste out of my mouth as I type this. Someone was kind enought to adorn my last post with a spam commment about the opportunities of investing in fast growing hardwood trees. I don't like spam in my mailbox, but I have filters to get rid of most of it. Spam on my blog is just unacceptable. Who goes to all the effort of either manually entering these things or writing a program to spam blog comments?

Fortunately, I have an idea what we can do with them.


In fact, I would volunteer to help build an automated machine that comes equipped with every computer. Any time someone sent an email to more than 25 people at a time*, it would snap out and administer one solid kick to the backside for every 5 addressees over the limit. Spammers (who often send millions of emails at a time) would quickly find themselves unable to sit down. And no one wants to stand up while using the computer, so the spam problem would be solved.

*I know you might be asking me "What about those people who just have a lot of friends and want to send emails to them?" Well, anyone who is sending emails to more than that many people isn't just sending a friendly, personalized "hello". They are forwarding chain letters about brave little cancer patients and non-existent bills being considered by Congress. We would actually be killing two birds with one stone.

Some Dork Will Know

I was looking at the lyrics to "Someday We'll Know" by the New Radicals (Don't ask why… Google does strange things to me) when I found these explanations of the lyrics.

Apparently we don't need to wait until "someday" to find out why the sky is blue. Some eager beaver at Wikipedia is glad to link you to articles on "Rayleigh Scattering" and "diffuse sky radiation."

Thanks, but I think those questions are rhetorical.

Struggling to Post Once a Month. . .

Although there are sign generators on the internet, I swear I am not making this up.

Quick Post

For all of you who read my last post then noticed I didn't post for a while: I have not commited ritual seppuku. Sorry to dash all of your hopes for an exciting story. I just have enough time to drop off a quick picture.

This is Supposed to Be a No Sappy Zone

But, man, tonight is depressing. Almost everybody is gone. I have one more test tomorrow morning and I'm leaving too. Summer never looked so long. Once I get home it will be cool but right now, I'm starting to miss people. I have never in the entire time I've known most of my Marquette friends, gone more than a month without seeing them.

Perhaps a song would be appropriate.

Or maybe not. But it's already there so listen to it.

(Big Dismal - Missing You)

Sorry to Ruin Your Hyperbole…

The email I got from Apple announcing that Dave Matthews Band's new album will now be availble on iTunes was good news, but had the distinct odor of bovine fecal matter (no, thank you Texas Justice).

Stand Up, available only on iTunes, marks a return to a more natural sound that emphasizes their loose, elastic rhythms. The first time that music by the Dave Matthews Band has been available digitally, this new album comes with a digital booklet and a video download.

First of all, Stand Up is not only available on iTunes. It can be purchased in stores and through the Dave Matthews Band website (in this newfangled "compact disc" format too!). I guess it would be safe to say that it is the only legal place to buy it digitally.

Second, this isn't the first time that Dave Matthews Band music has been available digitally. Only counting legal distribution, I Did It was released through Napster back in the days of its battles with Metallica. Then DMB struck a deal with the new, legal Napster.com to have all their songs available for download at a price.

Other than that though, I bet it's really true that the album comes with a video download. Kind of like a low-quality version of the video you can get if you buy the CD/DVD double disc for only $2 more than the price of the regular album!

Please, iTunes, I love you but we need more honesty in this relationship.

Want to See Some Ugly Kids?

I know where to go!

Keep checking back, because this site is under construction. More to come on May 20, they tell us.

On a side note, how did they get models for this site?

Photographer: Ma'am, we think your kid would make a great model. Can we take some pictures?
Mother: Sure. What is it for?
Photographer: Our new website called Ugly Kids.

The more I look at those pictures, I realize that the kids aren't actually that ugly. They've been crudely Photoshopped into the little sideshow attractions they are now.

Cubs Fans Smell Like Poo

Well, not all Cubs fans. I know a few who are more like armpit.

But the guys who rag on Steve Bartman are definitely the pooiest. I say this because I'm watching a special on ESPN about Mr. Bartman and the Cubs game. They threw stuff at him and were getting so violent that he had to be escorted out for his own safety. I realize the fans were mad but that was totally uncalled for. That's what beer and frustration do to people.

If I had to put a percentage on it, I would say that Bartman deserves maybe nothing% of the blame. The rest goes to various Cubs for not playing baseball. Here's how ESPN ranks the top five reasons:

5) Alou loses his cool. With Alou jumping up and down and yelling, the rest of the team got worked up too.
4) Dusty Baker doesn't do anything. The team was shaken, but he didn't even leave the dugout to talk to them until after the lead was blown.
3) Alex Gonzalez messed up the easy groundball. That probably relates to #4, Dusty Baker's failure to calm the team down.
2) Losing game 7. A Harvard professor did the math and discovered that the Cubs still had a 91% chance of winning the game, even after the dropped ball.
1) The Marlins were better.

Darth Vader M&M!

I'm sure you're wondering what this is. And I would tell you right now, except that then the text wouldn't wrap around the picture. Instead I'll keep you in suspense for a few more words then say "HERE!" Feel better now?

Darn, that picture is just way bigger than any text I can justify using to describe it.

Two Cents on the Pope

I've been meaning to post about the election of Pope Benedict XVI but hey, I'm lazy. And busy lately too. Instead, I'm going to shamelessly link to an article I wrote on another blog.

Tribune v. Ratzinger

Area 51

A guy using satellite images found what seems to be Area 51 (although some says it's just an Air Force base). I'm less interested in what it is. What really amuses me are the comments people made on his LiveJournal.

Why I Love Fark.com

Kinda feel like a sesame seed bun
Don’t we all
Wait, let me get my gun
Let’s make a McDonald’s run

McGansta

Watch a Guy Get Tasered!

Where?
Here!

Pope John Paul II 1920-2005

I wrote this out in my head earlier but I couldn't get to the computer to type it out until now.

One of the greatest world leaders of the last century died today, and I wonder if anyone noticed. I was at Johnston Hall finishing my work with the paper when the news came on the Pope John Paul II had died. I had expected the earth to shake, the sky to go black and silence to fall over the land. But when I got outside the sun was still shining in a bright blue sky spotted with puffy white clouds. People were everywhere, living their lives, playing Frisbee, going to and from the library. The only sign that anything was different from every other moment of every other day was one lonely bell tolling slowing from the tower of Johnston Hall. I thought the whole world was rather unceremoniously happy.

But maybe that's how is was supposed to be. Maybe God was reminding me that the Pope's life was a reason for celebration, not sorrow. I think it was Theresa of Lisieux who said she wasn't afraid of death because in Heaven she would be able to pray for her loved ones even more. I get the feeling that's how John Paul felt as his body began to weaken over the last few days.

Karol Wojtyla pray for us.

Car or Khartoum?

A government typist learns that there's a difference between Sedan and Sudan.

Especially when it comes to dropping nuclear weapons.

Poetry!

In a link from No-Sword, I came across some great poetry by some guy named Tao Lin. It's on Bullfightreview.com.

Another good one by the same guy.

Strong language alert on the first link, but it's still good stuff.

Looking for Lebanese Women?

Shop e-bay and save!

See the ad about halfway down the page.

EDIT: (3/14/05) Sadly, the ad has changed. It no longer offers to help you find Lebanese women cheap on e-bay. I guess I'm left with Plan B: Russian mail order brides.

Stick Around for More Updates…

It's 7:50 pm. Do you know where your silly putty is?

I don't and that's a scary thing. I shudder to think what it may have stuck itself to the bottom of.

Paul McCartney Didn't Play at the Superbowl!

I've been reading up on Paul McCartney lately and it turns out that he's been dead since 1966. Little did I know, he's been played by a guy named Billy Shepherd, or Billy Campbell or something like that shutupandbelievemefool.

I think this is the most convincing "believer" site I have read.
The autor of the site says that McCartney's death was an accident. The CIA was actually trying to off his manager Brian Epstein. While that whole plot seems shaky, it does fill in some holes in other conspiracies. Such as, why did the Beatles keep his death under wraps? This site explains that they did it to keep the CIA off their backs.

This one's disturbing.
The very first picture of "Paul" (Billy Shepherd?) naked. (He's covered enough to be safe, but just barely.) Those gifs of the morphing faces are really creepy too.
I think the credibility of the site is undermined for several reasons. First of all, it refers the alleged impostor as "Billy Shepherd." Just about every other source calls him "Billy Campbell." Secondly, it lists Paul's date of death as September 11, 1966. This is probably a misunderstanding of the actual date given by most theories of 11-9 (November 9). The site has a .it ending, so the writer probably assumes the European custom of date before month. The writer might also be looking for some 9-11 connections.

From the BBC's h2g2 network.
This source seems pretty skeptical. It has a lot of things that seem to add up, though. Some of the stuff is kind of creepy.

This one's in-depth.
It believes that the "Paul is dead" theory is fake, but it goes into more details and clues than I've seen anywhere else.

I Should Have Known

There was a link in my Hotmail account to an article headlined Is Marc Controlling J.Lo? In a fit of silliness, I clicked the link. It confirmed what I had suspected all along. Try it yourself.

Are You a Serial Killer?

Click here to find out. I got it right, strangely enough. But I cheated. The voices told me the answer.

I've Always Wanted My Own Animated Midget Weatherman!

And here he is!

Scientists Are Funny People

If you ever wondered what the fruitfly genome might sound like hooked up to a computer's music snythesizer, wait no longer! Just click here.

You've Probably Already Seen This…

But for those of you who are missing out, here it is.

It's about 2 minutes of some guy singing falsetto to techno music in front of his computer. Don't let my bland description rob you of the pleasure of seeing this for yourself.

Here is a site with subtitles and translation. Any guess on the language?

Proof that Europeans are Weird

From the the English version of the official website for Philipps Universität in Marburg Germany.

Click the "Where is Marburg?" link and wait for the strangeness to ensue.

A Dose of Cool

If you haven't seen anything jaw-droppingly awesome today, click here.

Disturbing Dating Ad

I found this ad running down the side of a page while I was checking my hotmail account.
What exactly is this ad saying?

"True Dating Service: If you're looking for someone to grab your butt, you're in the right place"?

I noticed the fine print at the bottom (tee hee!) says "We screen for felons and married people." I have questions about whether or not that's true (or even possible), but that's not the point. Shouldn't they screen for dirty minded men who want to feel girls up in the middle of a poppy field? Look at the expression on that guy's face. He's not thinking good thoughts, I'll tell you that. And considering the surroundings, I bet he's an opium dealer. I guess they can't screen out future felons.

On another note, something about this picture just doesn't look right. The guy's arms are situated really awkwardly. And where are his legs? I only see one set (and they are coming out of the girl's hips). Maybe the guy was born without legs. The only way he can keep his balance while this girl carries him is by *ahem* holding on tight.

There's No Such Thing as Too Much Pirate

What's yarrr pirate name?

My pirate name is:

Black Harry Rackham

Like anyone confronted with the harshness of robbery on the high seas, you can be pessimistic at times. You have the good fortune of having a good name, since Rackham (pronounced RACKem, not rack-ham) is one of the coolest sounding surnames for a pirate. Arr!

Get your own pirate name from fidius.org.

Look out if you try to post your results. The code is ugly. I had to fix some of it myself.

And Now A Word From Our Sponsors…

There's never a wrong time for a Quaker Oats Chewy chocolate chip granola bar.

Not even 2 am.

Baby Got Book

"Baby I wanna read witcha
Cause that Bible you have's got pictures…"

No further explanation would do.

Spelling Nazi On the Loose!

Find the non-word in this article.

See, I don't just call other people Nazis.

Edit: Mea culpa. Apparently adaption is a word. Doesn't mean I have to like it, though.

This Is Hilarious

I hope it's true…
Link

Watch out for the Barbie Militia to come save him.

It Feels So Right It Can't Be Wrong

When you answer "all of the above" to a yes/no question, you know you've got it made.

It's a link!

Why Just Respond When You Can Post?

I was working on a reply to CrackerSnacker's comment in my music post, but it got so long that I figured it deserved its own post.

Probably you haven't heard of a lot of these bands because quite a few of them are Christian groups (and not well known in the Christian industry either).

For example, Earthsuit is a crazy sounding raggae/rap/rock group that's just a lot of fun. They broke up after their first album, Kaleidoscope Superior. The members formed two new groups, Macrosick and Mute Math. (Listening to Earthsuit or looking at their album art or even reading their new band names is a like an acid trip. Or what I assume an acid trip would be like.)

Burlap to Cashmere is an ethnic Latin/Greek/acoustic folk group. (Yes, I like bands that are hard to categorize) Much like Earthsuit, they put out an incredible debut album (Anybody Out There) that was just too different to get a lot of play on mainstream Christian radio. After a bit of industry drama, their label fell through and the band died out. Steven Delopoulos was their lead singer who now has an amazing solo album called Me Died Blue. If you have any experience with Cat Stevens or other '70's singer-songwriter types, you'll like him.

Relient K is just a fun pop-punk band. Lately pop-punk has become a whipping boy for music critics because it has gained a teeny-bopper following. Relient K is much better than that. Fun music and witty lyrics that really have something deep to say. Their breakout album was the hilarious Anatomy of the Tongue and Cheek. Their latest, which is also great, is called mmhmm.

Rich Mullins may well be the greatest songwriter in Christian music. A good sample of his sound would be the album Songs. He died about 7 or 8 years ago, but had an some unfinished demos for an album called The Jesus Album. They are rough sounding tape recordings that have been remastered to CD, but they're great.

The Benedictine Monks I mentioned are just that, monks doing chants in Latin. Their album is called Chant Noel. It's great music to put on in the background.

Other than that, the only song people probably haven't heard of is Concrete Girl by Switchfoot. It comes from The Legend of Chin their first album (no, The Beatiful Letdown wasn't their first album). A lot of people consider it their best work. I'm not sure I can go that far. All of their albums are so solid that it's hard to pick a favorite.

Pray for the Pope

I received this in an email today.

His Holiness, Pope John Paul II, is specifically requesting that we pray for him in the knowledge that his time among us is limited. Please pray an "Our Father" for him; then copy and forward this to as many people around the world as possible. Pope John Paul made this request about 3 weeks ago on praying the Angelus before the pilgrims in St. Peter's Square. At Lourdes a few weeks ago he mentioned being at the end of his pilgrimage.

Online Music Quiz

I found this at thejist.com. Feel free to copy and paste it with your own information.

My Random Top 10 Singles
(this is really random for me. My favorite songs change minute by minute.)

In no particular order:
1) Boulevard of Broken Dreams - Green Day
2) 100 Years- Five for Fighting
3) Fields of Gold - Sting and the Police
4) Daisies and Roses - Burlap to Cashmere
5) All I Want is You - U2
6) Whch to Bury, Us or the Hatchet? - Relient K
7) The Song that Jane Likes - Dave Matthews Band
8) Hard to Get - Rich Mullins
9) Chant Noel - Benedictine Monks
10) Rocky Boat - Steven Delopoulos

What is the total amount of music files on your computer? 1418

The last CD I bought was : How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb - U2

The last song listened to before this message? Said the Sun to the Shine - Earthsuit

Write down five songs you often listen to, or that mean alot to you:
1) Electrical Storm - U2
2) Pig - Dave Matthews Band
3) The One I'm Waiting For - Relient K
4) Brick - Ben Folds
5)Concrete Girl - Switchfoot

There ya go. I did this for you!

Hey World, Lighten Up!

Dearest World

My love for you is like the grass of the fields, stretching onward in every direction, blowing in the wind just like your beautiful golden locks. I want nothing but the best for you, my love. So I feel I have no choice but to be frank in my words with you.

I have received several emails in the last few days informing me of the horrors of a website that has, like iLazarus, risen from the CyberGrave of EtherDeath. Yes my friends, I mean BonsaiKitten.com.

While I realize many of you out there love cats (and that might also be the same mental defect that makes you want to send me forwarded emails), there is no reason to worry. BonsaiKitten.com is a joke. I think anyone who actually reads the site would be tipped off by many things, including this piece of "news", which I quote here (portions that should indicate that this is a joke are bolded):

"

News Flash! Bonsai Kittens save your brain!

Recent research, reported in The Scotsman and other news corporations, shows that the keeping of unmodified cats puts people at risk of a host of debilitating mental disorders:

US scientists have found evidence that cats really do drive people mad.

Researchers from Baltimore's Johns Hopkins University say their findings show keeping a furry pet can lead to schizophrenia, manic depression and even permanent brain damage.

Dr Robert Yolken and his colleague, Dr Fuller Torrey, who have conducted years of tests, believe a parasite found in cat faeces called toxoplasma gondii infects the human brain.

Worryingly, pregnant women who contract the parasite, can transmit it to the foetus, with devastating effects on brain development.

No doubt this explains the crank e-mail we sometimes receive!

The integral waste management systems of Bonsai Kittens, of course, prevent their owners from ever having to come into direct contact with the cats' feces, thus protecting them from harm. Your mental health is one of the most precious gifts you have -- don't you owe it to yourself and your family to make the switch to a Bonsai Kitten today? As a public service in response to this newly-discovered health risk, for a limited time we will be offering free disposal of your dangerous old cat with each purchase of a Bonsai Kitten -- please contact us for drop-off details.

"

If that doesn't make it clear enough, look at their link logo. Does this look like the product of real commercial site?

I understand that humans have a natural desire to change the world, to do something good for others. But Bonsai Kittens need your help just about as much as the endangered purple peanut-eating platypus. Meaning not at all, because they don't exist. If you are looking for a way to help, there are many worthy causes.

Right to Life
Red Cross Tsunami Relief
Repairers of the Breach (Milwaukee)
The "Pay for Aaron's College Education" Fund

Until we meet again,
Aaron

100 Years- Five for Fighting

To quote Peter Griffin, this song is freakin' sweet.

Listen to it in the music section of Five for Fighting.com.
The lyrics are amazing. (Thanks, lyrics007.com.) He describes a man thinking about being a teenager as he literally journeys through his life. He describes important stages of life as he reaches them.

What really makes the song is the way the melody and the lyrics work together. The bridge is a great example:

Half time goes by (A)
Suddenly you're wise (A)
Another blink of an eye (A)
67 is gone (B)
The sun is getting high (A)
We're moving on... (B)
The first three lines build as they repeat practically the same tune and rhyme scheme (A). Then the rhyme changes (B) as well as the melody of the line. The fourth line goes back to the A rhyme and tune, building to climax. It lets off all that steam with the slow, almost sad "We're moving on…" (Thanks to Paul for pointing out the bridge to me.)

So in conclusion, (as I try my hardest to make this sound like it was written by a 4th grader) this is a great song. Give it a good hard listen.


Would I lie to you?

iSpecialists

I'm on hold with Apple's Apple Care tech support team right now. This funky music is making me want to dance. If I had an iPod, I would cha cha like a fool right now. Of course, if I had an iPod I wouldn't be talking to these tech support guys.

I wish they would just admit that it's broken and needs to be repaired or (preferably) replaced. I don'think resetting it for the 5th time will get us anywhere we haven't already been.

Ladies and Gentlemen…Cory!

My good friend Cory started a blog of his own. It's at IntelWarrior.blogspot.com. Everybody give Cory a nice round of applause and click over to his page. Kermit won't be happy if you don't. And I won't be happy unless I post enought text to make this table line up without too much white space. This is enough.
	Introducing…!

What Did I Do Before My iPod?

All over the world, life is hard. In Indonesia people are recovering from losing everything in the tsunami. In India children are starving in the streets. People are killed by wars and oppressive regimes. And yet, here is my whiny little post.

I miss my iPod. How did I go 19 years of my life without one? What accompanied me on long walks to and from classes and between buildings at night? And yet, only a month after I bought it, my iPod is, for all intents and purposes, dead. It still has battery power and plugs properly into my computer. The hard drive is still spinning as usual but it can't receive commands from me, its master. The scroll wheel and clicker buttons are kaput. I have to send it in to Apple Care, where they will probably keep it for a month, tinker with it until it works then charge me return shipping to get it back. In the mean time I will walk these empty streets on the boulevard of broken technologies. It is a lonely road but it's the only one I've ever known.

I've Got Plenty of Time!

Over a billion seconds!

Sadly, I will be outlived by Britney Spears

Thanks to DeathClock.com

PS, I googled Britney Spears, hoping to put picture on this post. Unfortunately, all the pictures Google turned up on the first page were fairly inappropriate for my target audience (non-perverts), so I gave up. Sorry for the inconvenience.

Apparently Being Funny Doesn't Make You Happy

Just really whiny.

A comedian who smashes things wonders why he never made it big.

Spring 2005!

Dave Matthews Band is putting out a new studio album in Spring 2005, according to the appropriately named dmbnewstudioalbum.com. There's not much there now, but more will come. Supposedly, someone hacked the site and found the next update. I haven't seen it yet, but there is a link in the discussion on AntsMarching.org's forums.

Thank You, Fark!

My day on the internet was really boring until I found this picture.

Click for accompanying story.

All Rise! Higher, Please!

I just accidentally bought two pairs of medium-rise mens' pants. I didn't even realize there was such thing as medium-rise pants. At least until I put them on. Then I realized pretty quickly that they were a little tight around the, um, "inseam region."

What is the idea behind low-rise mens's pants (there were some of those at the store too)? Please help. I'm not being rhetorical. I'm really stumped.

Since We're Taking Quizzes…

Are you a music nerd? I know you tell yourself that when you look in the mirror in the morning. But do you have the guts to find out if it's really true? If so, click here.

I scored a 24.6%. Apparently that's good enough to make me a "Total Music Nerd."

Thanks a Lot, Sharkey

He said it was the worst personality quiz ever and he was right.

Get to know the REAL you by crash_and_burn
Your Name
You Are A:	Rude Boy
Your Favorite Band/Song	Ludacris - Rollout
You Like To Read:	Romance novels
You Firmly Believe In:	God
Everyone Thinks You Are:	A sleazy prostitute
You Were Conceived:	On accident
You Will Marry:	No-one
Quiz created with MemeGen!

Let's see… one right (you know which one, smart aleck!) The rest are all either "no" or "I hope not."

Sorry about the grandkids, mom!

I Got a New Toothbrush

Yes, after being sick for the last 24 hours, I decided my toothbrush probably wasn't fit to be put in my mouth again. It's always sad to take Old Yeller back to the trash can in the bathroom, but I swallowed my emotion (and a big gulp of Scope to calm my nerves) and put it down.

My new toothbrush is very complicated. I'm used to the thin white bristles. I'm also used to the thin colored bristles. What I can't get used to are the thick rubber fingers that are attached to the head of the toothbrush. I was confused until I read the label of my toothbrush package. It said the rubber fingers were for "massaging" my gums. Maybe I'm missing something, but I have no idea why my gums need to be massaged at all. Do they do any work? They don't hold my teeth in. That's the job of the periondontal ligament. (Most scientist refer to it as "the teeth holder thingy." Most people from Arkansas refer to it as "the tooth holder thingy.") In fact, my gums are a lot like Vanna White. Sure, they touch the white squares, but what do they actually do? Nothing! They're just there for show.

If we're going to be working massagers into random hygiene products, I can think of better ones. Take deodorant for example. Wouldn't it be great to go to work every morning knowing not only that you smell fresh, but also that that special "getting tickled by midgets" feeling would last all day too?

Or Dr. Scholl's(©) shoe pads. You'll never want to take your shoes off again! And it would be better for everyone else if you didn't.

I Know You Want More Santa Funniness

This is just asking for a caption contest.

Thanks to SouthFlorida.com's Scared of Santa contest.

Red Pill, Red Hat

I just saw a guy who looked like Morpheus walking down the street. He was big and tough looking and he even had similar sunglasses. But he was wearing a Santa hat!

+ = Weird.

And Another Blogspot Blog

Welcome to The Inane Asylum.

I Can't Be the Only One Bothered By This

Lap pillows. They don't go on your lap--they are a lap.

Full Story

This Site is Soooo Cool…

Read it now!

Or else silent assassins will get you.

Latest News on Eagles/Warriors

Thanks to Tommy for writing this excellent opinion piece.

Marquette Board of Trustees reached decision:  They are indeed girly-men.

After 6 months of controversey on the debate between Marquette's nickname of the Golden Eagles verses the former nickname of Warriors, the board of trustees finaly came to a decision.  They infact decidecd yesterday that they were not going to decide. 

One board member was quoted as saying, "I am really too scared to decide. Either way someone will be upset and will probably hurt me.  Thats just not the Jesuit ideal." 

Spokesmen from groups on all sides of the issues spoke out after the decison of no decision.  Students For Warriors supporter Brian Collar was seen toting his big flag chasing down a board member calling him a no good overpaid girly man. 

Representatives of the Demonstration for Dignity who were oppossed to the Warriors could not be reached as they were planning their next event. Apparently they are off to defend squirrels in the Marquette area stating that the term "garbage eating rodents" simply is not supporting the squirrels dignity. 

Students for Hilltoppers are still yet to be seen.

Man Massacres Nightclub. Journalist Does His Own Job on the English Language

According to nbc41.com.

"It was unclear as to whom shot the alleged gunman."

NO! It was unclear who shot the alleged gunman. "Who" is used when the unknown person is the subject of the sentence. "Whom" is used when the unknown person is the object of the sentence. You could also properly say "It was unclear whom the gunman shot."

An easy test is to insert "he" into the sentence and see if it makes sense. You wouldn't say "It was unclear if him shot the gunman." You could say "It was unclear if he shot the gunman."

Looks like my work here is done.

I Had a Really Funny Image of a Dancing Bear…

…but I can't find it now. I know it's somewhere online so I'll put it right here for you once I've relocated it.

This ESPN Poll is Ridiculous

^Like, yeah, man.

Nice picture, too.

ESPN.com has a poll asking how people feel about the report that Barry Bonds took steroids. They ask some good questions, but their answers are ridiculous. Their options are so extreme that there isn't any room between "I want to lick Barry's shoes clean" and "Burn, Barry, burn."

One questions asks:
"8) How will Barry Bonds be remembered years from now?
•Greatest HR hitter of all-time
•Greatest HR hitter of his era
•Steroid user"

There isn't anywhere for me to put my opinion that he is among the best of all time, but not the greatest. Not even necessarily the best of his era. And there will probably be a bit of a stain on his memory from steroid speculation, but I don't see it keeping him out of the Hall of Fame or anything like that. To use a political metaphor, I think he will be remembered more like Bill Clinton than Richard Nixon.

Here are some reactions to ESPN.com's story.

I'm not sure how long those links will stay up, so if you can't connect to this story in a couple of days, leave a comment and I'll send you your money back.

Honest, Professor, I Wanted to Do My Homework.

I wasn't in a great mood after my run-in with a bum-with-attitude today. But then, it snowed.

Oh, did it snow.
Oh, how the snow goes.
It snowed on a fox,
And on Kevin Knox,
And even on homeless guys in a box.

No, thank you, Dr. Seuss.

After the Bellarmine meeting, the snow was about half an inch deep. It was fluffy and wet, just like professional snowballers like it. No had even walked on it yet. It was perfectly smooth, pristine and beautiful. Naturally, we jumped right in with a giant snowball fight.

Tom, Becky, Rebecca, Jose and I pelted each other with snowballs for almost half an hour. I had snow in my hair, coat, shirt, shoes and pants. I like to think that I got off lighter than the rest of them.

It was Jose's first actual snowfall (he's from Chile), so he was impressed by the whole thing. We made a snowman. Jose couldn't believe people actually rolled balls of snow on the ground to make snowmen. "I've only seen this on Snoopy!" he said. The snowman had four segments and looked kind of like this. You can guess whe we named her.

After I had to go the library, but the pandemonium continued outside. For two hours students pelted each other with snow. Dan had a water balloon launcher that could shoot snowballs a mile. He was "going artillery-style on their a**es," to quote a source at the scene. I think it could literally knock someone out at short range. Not that we're going to try that tomorrow about 7 o'clock in front of Cobeen.

When I passed the Union, where Mrs. Butterworth had been, she was nowhere to be found. There wasn't even a trace of wreckage. I suspect she was entirely salvaged for snowballs. Hopefully there will be more tomrrow. Not that I'll have time to play in in it, since I didn't do anything tonight.

Now I have to go to bed and get 5 1/2 hours of sleep for class tomorrow.

We'd Excommunicate Him If We Could

Conversation between a Muslim kid on my floor and the (Catholic priest) chaplain:

Z: "Have you read Orwell?"

Father: "No, I haven't."

Z: "Jeez, Father! What are you good for?"

No Habla Español is Ok

The Marquette Chileans have a website. If you speak Spanish you might understand what it says, too.

OpMario.4t.com

"What You Got, What You Got in Your Hand?" a Father Said to Son

Yes, Mr. Matthews, that is a nice vat of pickles.

Thanks to AntsMarching.org for the link to this photo.

Jerk Alert!

Read the whole description.

Edit: eBay took it down. It was a guy selling a picture of his computer. Last I checked bidding was around $625.

Testing, Testing…

I just got FireFox on my computer. If you're still using Internet Explorer, change now!

And to make up for the fact that this is totally wasted post, I'll tell you some late political jokes.

Joke #1
John Kerry walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, why the long face?"

Joke #2 (Thanks to Mr. Packer)
George W. Bush walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, I haven't seen you since 1982!"

Sacre Bleu!

France is attacking a country!