What the Heck Facebook: Part N+2 of an M+2 Part Series

And just in case a Proverbs 31 Woman isn't your style, there's another option:

What the Heck Facebook: Part N+1 of an M+1 Part Series

Today's special offering on facebook: a Proverbs 31 woman!

For, as Proverbs 31 teaches us:
Give strong drink unto him that is ready to perish, and wine unto those that be of heavy hearts.
Let him drink, and forget his poverty, and remember his misery no more.

Wow, I know marriage can be tough, but that seems a little extreme to me. Definitely not the best way to sell a dating service, if you ask me.

What? I'm reading the wrong section, you say? Speak up, it's hard to hear you from all the way over here.

I guess this ad must referring to the second half of Proverbs 31.
She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens. [...]
She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff.

That's important, I suppose. We can't have the maidens of our household starving to death. How on earth would you explain that to the police? "Sir, didn't you used to have 6 maidens in this household?" "Yes, officer, but we went away for the weekend and forgot to leave food out for them. They ate one of their own."

And if they want to stay in my household, they better not be vegetarians. "Give them meat!" I'll say to Mrs. Proverbs31-Flametroll. "None of that tofu garbage for the maidens of my household!"

And I definitely won't be marrying someone who can't handle a distaff. What are they teaching in home-ec these days? (I'm a little concerned by the number of hands Mrs. P31-F is going to have. I don't consider it a requirement that she be able to have hands on a distaff and hands on a spindle at the same time.)

She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet.

This one's important in Milwaukee. There's going to be a lot of snow, so my kids better be wearing bright red when it comes.

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