My love for you is like the grass of the fields, stretching onward in every direction, blowing in the wind just like your beautiful golden locks. I want nothing but the best for you, my love. So I feel I have no choice but to be frank in my words with you.
I have received several emails in the last few days informing me of the horrors of a website that has, like iLazarus, risen from the CyberGrave of EtherDeath. Yes my friends, I mean BonsaiKitten.com.
While I realize many of you out there love cats (and that might also be the same mental defect that makes you want to send me forwarded emails), there is no reason to worry. BonsaiKitten.com is a joke. I think anyone who actually reads the site would be tipped off by many things, including this piece of "news", which I quote here (portions that should indicate that this is a joke are bolded):
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News Flash! Bonsai Kittens save your brain!
Recent research, reported in The Scotsman and other news corporations, shows that the keeping of unmodified cats puts people at risk of a host of debilitating mental disorders:
US scientists have found evidence that cats really do drive people mad.
Researchers from Baltimore's Johns Hopkins University say their findings show keeping a furry pet can lead to schizophrenia, manic depression and even permanent brain damage.
Dr Robert Yolken and his colleague, Dr Fuller Torrey, who have conducted years of tests, believe a parasite found in cat faeces called toxoplasma gondii infects the human brain.
Worryingly, pregnant women who contract the parasite, can transmit it to the foetus, with devastating effects on brain development.
No doubt this explains the crank e-mail we sometimes receive!
The integral waste management systems of Bonsai Kittens, of course, prevent their owners from ever having to come into direct contact with the cats' feces, thus protecting them from harm. Your mental health is one of the most precious gifts you have -- don't you owe it to yourself and your family to make the switch to a Bonsai Kitten today? As a public service in response to this newly-discovered health risk, for a limited time we will be offering free disposal of your dangerous old cat with each purchase of a Bonsai Kitten -- please contact us for drop-off details.
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If that doesn't make it clear enough, look at their link logo. Does this look like the product of real commercial site?
I understand that humans have a natural desire to change the world, to do something good for others. But Bonsai Kittens need your help just about as much as the endangered purple peanut-eating platypus. Meaning not at all, because they don't exist. If you are looking for a way to help, there are many worthy causes.
Right to Life
Red Cross Tsunami Relief
Repairers of the Breach (Milwaukee)
The "Pay for Aaron's College Education" Fund
Until we meet again,
Aaron
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