I'm in the middle of taking a survey about drug and alcohol use on campus which I was randomly selected for. I think they will also be emailing me a small cup with a lid that I'll have to email back full.
Whoever was writing the survey seems to have been on drugs themselves. Many of the questions that would seem to require the possibility of a "maybe" or "don't know" answer are simple yes/no. For example, the question "Does alcohol make you sexier?" Well, I don't drink so I really don't know. Maybe it would, although I can't imagine a possibility in which I would be more attractive than I already am.
Another "question" in the alcohol section was "doesn't interfere with my life." Now, not only is that not a question, it's not even a sentence. But even more confusingly, the possible choices are "yes" and "no." Yes, alcohol doesn't interfere with my life? No, alcohol doesn't interfere with my life? No, alcohol does interfere with my life? Yes, this survey does interfere with my sanity?
In conclusion, be like this guy and don't do drugs.