Disturbing Info courtesy of Burned By the Sun

Typo of the Day!

I found this as I was wandering through some of the other great blogs on (You really should go see some of them as soon as you're done with mine.) This gem was at Nosebleed Section 2000.

"See I can't leave the food out on my porch because my landlady, Wendy, who lives in the apartment behind me is allegoric to cats."

Newsflash: I am a Jerk

A guy came to my door today at about 5 o'clock. He was carrying a bag with several well-worn Bibles. His shirt and hat both said "Word of God" on them. He started by asking if I was a man of peace. When I said that I was, he asked if I would shake his hand. I did. From here out, dialogue will be easier than commentary.

Him: Are you a person with patience?

Me: It could use some help, I'm sure.

H: [hands me a two page handwritten pamphlet with a list of a good 40-50 Bible passages on the front] When you finished reading those would you have more patience?

M: Probably.

H: I can tell you're a man of patience, just because you're listening to me. Now, If someone needs something and you give it to them, isn't that a good work?

M: Yes

H: You know the Bible says that whatever you do for another of God's people you do for Him?

M: Yes.

H: [Holds up his bag. It has that picture on it] What's he doing?

M: Knocking.

H: In Revelation 13: 20, Jesus says he is knocking at the door, just like I'm doing right now. [Sees that I'm wearing my Kyrios cross] What does that thing on your neck mean?

M: Christianity… I'm Catholic. (To his credit, he didn't care.)

H: Now what's on the outside reflects what's in the heart, right?

M: Yes.

H: So if what's on the outside isn't in the heart, it's fake, right?[Guilt trip, I hate that.]

M: Yeah.

He went on to explain that he lived in a tent (the address was on the pamphlet) and ran a Bible study. When I didn't give him money, he asked if I would go to his Bible study. Not wanting to be rude, I told him "I don't know, maybe." He pulled out his Bible and showed me James 5:12 "Let your 'Yes' be yes, and your 'No,' no." I didn't think that that passage was speaking out against the word "maybe", but I didn't want to argue exegesis on my front steps. I gave in and told him no, I probably wouldn't go to his Bible study. He was ok with that and left. I told him I'd pray for him, and I will.

The problem now is that I fee like a piece of crap. I have no doubt that he was legit. He knew the Bible too well and was too good of a speaker to be a junkie. I kind of wish I had given him something.

Man, in hindsight, I never do anything right.

Watcha Got? (Lay it down on me?)

"There are tons of Metallica tributes, Creed tributes, '80's hair metal cover bands, and what have you."

This is a quote from my last post. As I was reading over it, I just had to wonder "What the heck does 'what have you' mean, anyway?" Lots of people use that term (it seems especially popular among older people, along with "Take it easy now," "When I was your age…," and "Dadgummit") but I don't know if anyone has any idea what it means.

What if They Came in Crashing?

I was driving home last night, when I passed a local bar and grill. (That in itself isn't unusual; it's always been there.) But their sign noted that Crash, a Dave Matthews tribute band, was going to be playing there this week. It struck me that I've never heard of a Dave Matthews tribute band. There are tons of Metallica tributes, Creed tributes, '80's hair metal cover bands, and what have you. With scientific precision and a good 5 minutes of mulling, I formulated a theory.

  1. How many people are good enough guitarists to play Dave's music? A lot of tribute bands cover music that's heavy on the power chords and screaming, rather than intricate strumming and picking. OK, it wouldn't be too tough to learn, but…
  2. …Of those, how many can sing even vaguely like Dave's 2-pack-a-day growl and still hit the high notes?
  3. And how many of those people know a really good electric violin and saxophone player? Also, I doubt if there are many people anywhere who can drum like Carter.
  4. And, come on, if you're really that good what are you doing covering someone else music? You should be out there making your own.

Ergo, that logic leads me to the conclusion that they must be lousy songwriters. (Meanwhile, somewhere in Greece, Socrates rolls over in a long-forgotten grave.)

I probably won't go see Crash, even though it intrigues me. It's at a bar, and I can't stand smoke or drunks. And, being 18, I'm not even sure they'll let me in.

And now that I've made myself look like a hopeless DMB fanboy, I think it's time to change the subject.

Old Guys Rule!

Amazing! He just keeps getting better. He must be the greatest old pitcher ever.

Quit making that face at me, Roger Clemens.

Now Open For Service

Since this is my first post, what better to do than explain the name? I'm not really so obnoxious as the title Flametroll might suggest. I just thought it had a cool Lord-of-the-Rings-meets-rude-anonymous-internet-blogger sound. The citizens of the internet can be the amateurish, ranting Rush Limbaughs of cyberspace, but, when I am elected as your blogger, I will work with both parties to break the cycle of partisan political bickering. I plan to post only the choicest of goofy links, stupid comments and pointless commentary on stuff that happens in my life.

Testing…Testing…1, 2, 3…

Like the headline says, I have three tests tomorrow before I'm home free. Pre-Calculus, European History and English Literature are the only things standing between me and college now. So that means if I actually want to go to college, I'd better stop goofing off online and study.