Live-blogging the Health Care Speech

Some highlights (I'll see if I can find these on youtube later):

Joe Biden in the background nodding and blinking too much, like a girl at a bar trying to convince her friends she's sober.

The dressed and shaved panhandler with a sign reading "What bill?" I think it might have originally said "Will bathe."

That one guy holding up a fat copy of the bill during a standing ovation, not smiling or clapping, just holding.

President Obama just threatened people who talk smack about the bill. "I will call you out." As he said earlier "My door is always open." According to some sources, an intial draft continued "And I am always prepared to take this outside if that's how you want to settle this, mofo."

The big fake smile John McCain made every time Obama complimented him. Something like "Hahahahaf-youhahaha!"

That one time Obama mentioned the Republicans and they all sat there for a second before standing up. Then they kept sneaking glances at each other like "Oh my gosh, he just talked about us! Obama just talked about us on national TV! I'm totally going to post this in my LiveJournal tonight!"*

Today on Lack of Context Theater: "We plan to set up panels of bureaucrats to deny coverage to senior citizens" -- President Obama

I'm not sure about other channels but CNBC didn't have any audio of the Republican's response speech. We switched over to CNN and Larry King was interviewing John McCain. Fun fact: their combined ages predate the Civil War. Bonus fun fact: Neither of them was alive last time the Cubs won the World Series. Bonus bonus fun fact: Larry King hasn't appeared on television in over a decade, since being replaced by a life-like mannequin in the later '90s.

Larry King-droid 2000 just implied that McCain may not have found Obama's compliments particularly flattering. I have to give CNN credit, the algorithms for perception of human emotion are pretty good.

Barney Frank and Ben Stein are coming on next, so I'm definitely not changing the channel. I hope Barney Frank is appearing via hologram.

Who looks drunker today? Biden or Frank? Did they just pump the whole auditorium full of nerve gas? Or maybe whiskey vapor.

King-Droid almost called Ben Stein and Barney "Ben Franklin." The jokes write themselves.

Anderson Cooper switched the "p" in ownership with a "t".

The Jameson just came out, so that means it's about time to wrap this up!

* Basically the same expression I was wearing all night.