Yes, after being sick for the last 24 hours, I decided my toothbrush probably wasn't fit to be put in my mouth again. It's always sad to take Old Yeller back to the trash can in the bathroom, but I swallowed my emotion (and a big gulp of Scope to calm my nerves) and put it down.
My new toothbrush is very complicated. I'm used to the thin white bristles. I'm also used to the thin colored bristles. What I can't get used to are the thick rubber fingers that are attached to the head of the toothbrush. I was confused until I read the label of my toothbrush package. It said the rubber fingers were for "massaging" my gums. Maybe I'm missing something, but I have no idea why my gums need to be massaged at all. Do they do any work? They don't hold my teeth in. That's the job of the periondontal ligament. (Most scientist refer to it as "the teeth holder thingy." Most people from Arkansas refer to it as "the tooth holder thingy.") In fact, my gums are a lot like Vanna White. Sure, they touch the white squares, but what do they actually do? Nothing! They're just there for show.
If we're going to be working massagers into random hygiene products, I can think of better ones. Take deodorant for example. Wouldn't it be great to go to work every morning knowing not only that you smell fresh, but also that that special "getting tickled by midgets" feeling would last all day too?
Or Dr. Scholl's(©) shoe pads. You'll never want to take your shoes off again! And it would be better for everyone else if you didn't.