I Couldn't Possibly Make This Up

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(Note the Photoshop skillllzzz on the phone numbers.)


I'm still washing the icky taste out of my mouth as I type this. Someone was kind enought to adorn my last post with a spam commment about the opportunities of investing in fast growing hardwood trees. I don't like spam in my mailbox, but I have filters to get rid of most of it. Spam on my blog is just unacceptable. Who goes to all the effort of either manually entering these things or writing a program to spam blog comments?

Fortunately, I have an idea what we can do with them.

In fact, I would volunteer to help build an automated machine that comes equipped with every computer. Any time someone sent an email to more than 25 people at a time*, it would snap out and administer one solid kick to the backside for every 5 addressees over the limit. Spammers (who often send millions of emails at a time) would quickly find themselves unable to sit down. And no one wants to stand up while using the computer, so the spam problem would be solved.

*I know you might be asking me "What about those people who just have a lot of friends and want to send emails to them?" Well, anyone who is sending emails to more than that many people isn't just sending a friendly, personalized "hello". They are forwarding chain letters about brave little cancer patients and non-existent bills being considered by Congress. We would actually be killing two birds with one stone.