No Headline is Suitable

The Cardinals are in the World Series for the first time since 1987. And I am out of my mind with joy.

When In Rome…

Don't even act like you know anything about tourist locations.

We Kept on Fighting 'Til the End

Actually, we just kept on showing up. Yes, it's official: Team M.E.A.N. (Marquette Engineers and Nurses) is the new champion of the Fall 2004 Co-Ed Softball B League. "Why do I care?" you might be asking yourself right now. The answer is you don't. You most likely don't even know me and you're only coming here to be amused. So if that's what you want, then I will simply answer your questions.

YOU: So, yeah. Why do I care?
Flametroll: Because it was epic softball play that can be seen as a symbol of life itself. M.E.A.N. was a team that was thrown together from a group of freshmen who barely knew each other. From mere acquaintances it became a cohesive team that outlasted the more seasoned opposition. In fact, all of the opposing teams were covered in much more garlic than any M.E.A.N. player ever was.
Although its record was a mere 2-3, M.E.A.N. came back against all odds. It was a team that (due to bracket oddities) had to win three games to become champions rather than the 1 or 2 wins the other teams needed. Most of all it was a team that got its collective backside out of bed every Sunday morning to make eleven o'clock or noon game time. This turned out to be the decisive factor.

Y: Why?
FT:Because the teams M.E.A.N. was supposed to play in the semi-finals and finals both forfeited because their players failed to show up.

Y: What a bunch of losers!
FT: That's what we think too. Although we would never say so.

Y: You that this applies to life itself. What was that supposed to mean?
FT: I never said that.

Y: Yes, you did.
FT: Did not.

Y: Did too.
FT: Oh yeah, I did. But I didn't mean it.

Y: Are you looking for a way out of debt?
FT: Leave me alone.

Y: But I swear I can get you some V1a:graa! or Ci@lis reeel cheep!