tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-70320882024-03-13T12:40:50.214-05:00The FlametrollA New Paradigm of Compendiums, Addendums and the Maximum Datum.Aaronhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13238548635539620285noreply@blogger.comBlogger397125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7032088.post-14066813952517936832012-04-01T22:26:00.000-05:002012-04-01T22:26:11.613-05:00Going Down in FlamesWell, I've finally decided. After a couple of years of infrequent updating, it's time for this blog to call it quits. I started it the week I graduated high school and it's still here, almost eight years later. I have one more post coming down the pike and then I'm going to leave it to the tumbleweeds or cobwebs or whatever springs up on old shuttered blogs.
I had almost forgotten how much fun IAaronhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13238548635539620285noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7032088.post-63761071370099523482011-12-24T18:00:00.001-06:002011-12-24T18:01:00.448-06:00Free IdeaI don't have any use for this myself, but if you're trying to name a German basketball team, consider "Deutschland Über Ballers."Aaronhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13238548635539620285noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7032088.post-6373600695745422942011-12-09T08:21:00.000-06:002011-12-09T08:21:38.505-06:00Albert Pujols: 2001-2011
I'm not mad. I'm just disappointed. Here's a man who had a chance to be a legend, a god-like figure in a city that has loved him for over a decade. Instead he chose to be a mercenary, taking crazy money to go to play out the end of his career in a city that expects him to live up to an insanely big contract. I hope it works out for him, because he's a great player. But it didn't go so hot for Aaronhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13238548635539620285noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7032088.post-49285372268350560622011-07-06T11:07:00.000-05:002011-07-06T11:07:32.864-05:00Re: The Policeman Who Cussed at me for Crossing the StreetI got chewed out by a policeman directing traffic while I was coming home from SummerFest last night. He was at the corner making a generic "go ahead" motion. The cars weren't going, so we assumed that meant we should walk. When we started crossing, he dropped a sentence that I calculated at 50% profanity (depending on how you parse blasphemies against the name of God).
That really made me mad. Aaronhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13238548635539620285noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7032088.post-78179722304232476792011-05-18T00:07:00.000-05:002011-05-18T00:07:43.567-05:00See What Happens When I Can't Sleep?Ok, so I already posted this on facebook, but it's not like I've ever been a stickler for originality before.
Coming this fall:How I Met Your Murderer: Fox's gripping crime drama in which a retired detective tells his children the story of how he cracked a case...and how that led to them being born!
The Orifice: NBC's hilarious proctological mock-umentary series!
Hawaii Fievel: America's Aaronhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13238548635539620285noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7032088.post-56815704205311533182011-05-08T18:22:00.000-05:002011-05-08T18:22:32.060-05:00Because Google Doesn't Understand ContextToday, I encountered an idea I had never considered before...Can you freeze eggs to keep them fresh?.
The consensus was that this a bad idea because eggs explode when frozen. Well, that's just too good to pass up, so I hit Google image search to see what that looks like.
The first hit for "frozen eggs" is a cool picture of an eggshell split open, with icy yolk hanging out. The second picture isAaronhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13238548635539620285noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7032088.post-90669563602389630942011-04-25T00:08:00.002-05:002011-04-25T00:08:52.726-05:00Open Letter to Mike QuadeComplaining about stolen bases in a blowout loss is loser talk. The best revenge is winning. Or, failing that, beaning the guy in his next at-bat. If the Cubs don't have a pitching staff that can accomplish either of those, you've got bigger problems than stolen bases.Aaronhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13238548635539620285noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7032088.post-81478749146507663352011-01-30T15:52:00.000-06:002011-01-30T15:52:58.156-06:00The Face of Evil
You want to know who's sneaky and a little bit evil? Hanes!
"Of course!" I'm sure you're telling me right now. "They're a giant corporation who dumps plutonium in poor people's drinking water and uses Micronesian sweatshop labor and fosters poor body image among young girls!*"
"No!" I respond. The conspiracy goes deeper even than that. It's more shocking even than the fact that they subsidizeAaronhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13238548635539620285noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7032088.post-86567956907574505612011-01-21T18:48:00.001-06:002011-01-22T16:46:55.381-06:00Breaking Up is HardIt's always a sad day when you get dumped via text message. Especially when you didn't know you were dating anyone to begin with.
I reproduce the text message conversation verbatim:
From: 555-555-5555 (3:32 pm)
I dnt want th truck keys. Jus want u to b a good person bu i have no control over that. I jus need to move on n realize u always gon b that person n it dsnt make sense but im sure ul getAaronhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13238548635539620285noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7032088.post-81392325335349914642010-12-18T11:57:00.003-06:002010-12-18T12:03:15.747-06:00Free Marketing Advice!How is it that both Apple and Google have passed up the opportunity to use the tagline "The television will be revolutionized"?Aaronhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13238548635539620285noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7032088.post-40150245156042538752010-11-17T23:33:00.003-06:002010-11-17T23:35:13.373-06:00Your Thought of the DayIsn't Sammy Hagar going to feel foolish if scientists discover another way to rock? Unless you have a rock-solid nonexistence proof that has been thoroughly peer reviewed, it's probably not wise to make such stark pronouncements.Aaronhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13238548635539620285noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7032088.post-69455688913263823292010-08-29T13:42:00.005-05:002010-08-29T14:07:40.549-05:00Easily Confused English WordsWorking with international contractors has taught me a lot of things. For instance I've learned several English words that I don't think of as related are more similar than English speakers might think.The morning of our epic USA vs India softball game, I had a discussion with the captain of Team India about what equipment we would be using. The conversation went something like this:Captain: WhatAaronhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13238548635539620285noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7032088.post-92025808800078238962010-08-18T19:24:00.004-05:002010-08-18T23:19:44.407-05:00Going Thought BlindAhem. Well, then. I think we all learned an important lesson about late night drinking and blogging, didn't we? Let's just move on then.Have you ever gone thought-blind? I've noticed this phenomenon before, but I only put a name to it recently. It happens when you're so lost in thought that you lose track of what you're physically doing. One time while I was really concentrating at work, I got upAaronhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13238548635539620285noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7032088.post-71628635271738044222010-07-16T00:57:00.002-05:002010-07-16T01:00:55.454-05:00Like Who?<!-- Begin I Write Like Badge --> I write likeDavid Foster WallaceI Write Like by Mémoires, Mac journal software. Analyze your writing!<!-- End I Write Like Badge -->That's what iwl.me says anyway. Also, my mom says I'm a very special and talented boy, but that's probably mostly because she doesn't know about this blog.Aaronhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13238548635539620285noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7032088.post-37036580824206071342010-06-20T23:05:00.006-05:002010-06-21T08:22:16.172-05:00Wedding Season!I love pretty much everything about weddings. Free meals. Open bars. Dressing like James Bond. The only time it makes sense to listen to "Celebration" by Kool and the Gang. I don't think I need to enumerate all the reasons to you because if you're reading this, odds are that you have been at all the same weddings as I have anyway.Here's the weird thing about wedding season. The sheer number of Aaronhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13238548635539620285noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7032088.post-64342717015293292472010-06-13T18:55:00.001-05:002010-06-13T18:56:55.233-05:00Rollin' With Ballmer's PosseMicrosoft has literally become that rich kid from high school that no one wants to be friends with: using money to make people "like" them.Aaronhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13238548635539620285noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7032088.post-55019888599841537692010-05-28T07:31:00.005-05:002010-05-28T07:39:00.430-05:00Spoiler Alert!An overview of the travel/time travel on Lost:Click for full sizeAlso, we learn that I can not draw the United States. Or airplanes. But I think the spelling is pretty good.Aaronhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13238548635539620285noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7032088.post-28920655869472069732010-05-25T23:20:00.002-05:002010-05-25T23:25:17.171-05:00Judging By the Commercials.....the key demographic for The Office on CW18 at 10:30pm is people who might buy an Audi and people who need lawyers.Have I become a Goldman Sachs executive?!Aaronhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13238548635539620285noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7032088.post-5924386234962755872010-05-05T19:29:00.003-05:002010-05-05T19:37:47.306-05:00Hypocrisy, Deception, or Feigned Ignorance*I was talking to a friend today about a wedding he's going to this weekend. It was originally planned to be outdoors but the wedding planner convinced the bride to move indoors because it was likely to rain on her wedding day."That's ironic" I said.Either no one got it or no one thought it was funny (presumably the latter) because there was no reaction. Which is alright for everyone else because Aaronhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13238548635539620285noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7032088.post-11536330503576835362010-04-19T00:00:00.004-05:002010-04-19T00:06:44.017-05:00Have I Ever Said that I Love Ruby?In just 34 lines of code, I wrote a script to take all of the files in a particular directory, search for the desired filetype and resize those images to a specific maximum size.Here's a sample method:def append_before_extension(filepath, append_string) ext = File.extname(filepath) base = File.basename(filepath, ext) return base + append_string + extendWhy can't Java make file processing so Aaronhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13238548635539620285noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7032088.post-55455233164537809122010-04-11T16:12:00.002-05:002010-04-11T16:13:07.810-05:00I Appreciate the EffortBut do they really need to package a user manual with my cell phone wall charger?Aaronhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13238548635539620285noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7032088.post-22964162114729319502010-03-27T09:11:00.001-05:002010-03-27T09:14:08.648-05:00New Policy in PlaceI found this above the comment section at the Motley Fool.I propose that this caveat be adapted for the comment section of all websites. I'll be doing my part!Aaronhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13238548635539620285noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7032088.post-21945252749297652982010-03-14T14:08:00.002-05:002010-03-14T16:04:08.750-05:00Lent PostTaco Bell's cheesy bean and rice tortilla almost makes Friday nights in Lent not feel like penance. Fortunately, this being Taco Bell, Saturday morning will often make up for it.Aaronhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13238548635539620285noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7032088.post-48687431517303582022010-02-18T16:53:00.003-06:002010-02-18T17:05:26.647-06:00What the Heck Facebook: Part N+π of an M+π Part SeriesSpeaking of offensive facebook dating ads (Actually, you may not have been, but I was):Aaronhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13238548635539620285noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7032088.post-43094269560829705542010-01-27T20:16:00.002-06:002010-01-27T21:34:52.730-06:00Liveblogging the State of the UnionYes, that last post means exactly what you feared it might mean... I'm liveblogging a political event! I'm dying to see Barney Frank again, but I might be out of "look how drunk he looks!" jokes. But boogers are still on the table. Err, I mean...Without further ado:Nancy Pelosi is wearing her beldam hair today: Obama said: "The most difficult [letters] to read are from children." He didn't add "Aaronhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13238548635539620285noreply@blogger.com1