Everybody Thinks I'm Up to No Good

After my brush with the FBI's Book Brigade, I'm apparently on some kind of federal watch list. I signed up for an Apple Developer Connection account today, because I wanted to download Apple's Java development stuff for free. It's a pretty good deal, I think. I found this in the Membership Agreement fine print:

You also agree that you will not use these products for any purposes where prohibited by United States law, including, without limitation, the development, design, manufacture or production of nuclear, missile, chemical or biological weapons.

Don't look at me, I'm still trying to pass Computer Science 065.

Copy and Paste Makes Blogging Easy

I was reading IMDB.com today and I came across the entry for Shallow Hal. There was nothing special in particular about the entry except for this user posted comment:

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[T]he film reinforces the same notions of beauty that it claims it is trying to undermine. Also, all fat people are not nice with a "good sense of humour", this is as HUGE stereotype. I am fat, unpleasant and not funny.

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Source.

Ketchup Trousers?

Don't you love how British people speak?

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From: Amner, Jenny
Sent: 03 June 2005 10:25
To: Phillips, Richard
Cc: *LON - ALL USERS 3RD FLOOR
Subject: RE: Ketchup trousers

With reference to the email below, I must apologise for not getting back to you straight away but due to my mother's sudden illness, death and funeral I have had more pressing issues than your £4.

I apologise again for accidentally getting a few splashes of ketchup on your trousers. Obviously your financial need as a senior associate is greater than mine as a mere secretary. Having already spoken to and shown your email and Anne-Marie's note to various partners, lawyers and trainees in ECC&T and IP/IT, they kindly offered to do a collection to raise the £4. I however declined their kind offer but should you feel the urgent need for the £4, it will be on my desk this afternoon.

Jenny

-----Original Message-----

From: Phillips, Richard
Sent: 25 May 2005 15:27
To: Amner, Jenny
Subject: Ketchup trousers

Hi Jenny

I went to a dry cleaners at lunch and they said it would cost £4 to remove the ketchup stains. If you cd let me have the cash today, that wd be much appreciated.

Thanks

Richard

Richard Phillips
Senior Associate
Commercial Department
Baker & McKenzie
100 New Bridge Street
London EC4V 6JA

---

Note also the use of the phrase "email row" later in the article.
Thank you, Snopes.com

The Greatest Thing Ever

The Perry Bible Fellowship

Should Have Been More Discreet?

I am apparently a part of a massive math book smuggling scam. In order to save $40, I returned the book I bought at my campus bookstore. Instead, I bought a book from Amazon.com. What the seller didn't tell me was that I had ordered the "International Edition." When the book came in, I realized the difference but I didn't worry too much about it. All of the problems and examples were the same. What was the difference?

Well, I still don't know what the difference is but I did find this label:


I'm hoping "the man" isn't reading my blog because I could be in trouble for some reason. And while he's searching my room he'll see that I removed the tag from my mattress.

Pusto Fan Club

Dr. John Pustejovsky (Dr. Pusto for short) of the German Department (if there is one here) is my favorite professor I've ever had at Marquette (out of a dozen or so)(Yeah parentheses!). When I had a problem with getting a tested-out-of German class put onto my transcript, he helped me out. He taught me more German in one semester than I had learned in two years of high school. He is so cool he even has a page of the Marquette website in his honor. So needless to say, I have a lot of respect for him.

If it's even possible, I just gained more respect for him today. I walked into the Eucharistic chapel at the AMU and found him there, praying a rosary. Turns out he's not only a great teacher, an intelligent man, a nice guy and extremely helpful, but also a devout Catholic. I also hear that he's working on disarming Iran's nuclear program and single-handedly guarding every inch of our nation's borders. Those could just be rumors, but I'm not prepared to dismiss them without further investigation.

More Milwaukee Skyline

Sunset over Wisconsin Avenue.
©Aaron 2005

Crass Glass Avarice

I noticed as I was buying lunch today that our local George Webb is running a scam.

I had stopped in to buy some chicken strips after I missed lunch today. They took my order, I paid and I sat down to wait for the strips to come. On a shelf at the side of the store were George Webb products--glass tumblers, metal thermos mugs and water bottles.

The tumblers (not bad looking glasses) go for $4.95. Not unreasonable at all. I'm sure you wouuld get some quality drinkage from them and they appear to hold a generous amount of your beverage of choice. The problem is in the bulk packaging. The $4.95 glasses also can be purchased in a package of four (all the same glass, same logo, etc.) for "only" $19.95. In other words, to buy four of them gets you a price hike of $.15.

Not much of a scam, I guess, but it's a problem. We as consumers expect to save money by buying more of stuff. That's the whole point of Sam's Club, right? If the government doesn't mandate that more stuff should cost less, I'm going to have to take matters into my own hands and not buy those tumblers. Or maybe buy them one at a time on four seperate visits.

The View From My Room At Night

©Aaron 2005

I Couldn't Possibly Make This Up

(Note the Photoshop skillllzzz on the phone numbers.)

Blah

I'm still washing the icky taste out of my mouth as I type this. Someone was kind enought to adorn my last post with a spam commment about the opportunities of investing in fast growing hardwood trees. I don't like spam in my mailbox, but I have filters to get rid of most of it. Spam on my blog is just unacceptable. Who goes to all the effort of either manually entering these things or writing a program to spam blog comments?

Fortunately, I have an idea what we can do with them.


In fact, I would volunteer to help build an automated machine that comes equipped with every computer. Any time someone sent an email to more than 25 people at a time*, it would snap out and administer one solid kick to the backside for every 5 addressees over the limit. Spammers (who often send millions of emails at a time) would quickly find themselves unable to sit down. And no one wants to stand up while using the computer, so the spam problem would be solved.

*I know you might be asking me "What about those people who just have a lot of friends and want to send emails to them?" Well, anyone who is sending emails to more than that many people isn't just sending a friendly, personalized "hello". They are forwarding chain letters about brave little cancer patients and non-existent bills being considered by Congress. We would actually be killing two birds with one stone.

Some Dork Will Know

I was looking at the lyrics to "Someday We'll Know" by the New Radicals (Don't ask why… Google does strange things to me) when I found these explanations of the lyrics.

Apparently we don't need to wait until "someday" to find out why the sky is blue. Some eager beaver at Wikipedia is glad to link you to articles on "Rayleigh Scattering" and "diffuse sky radiation."

Thanks, but I think those questions are rhetorical.

Struggling to Post Once a Month. . .

Although there are sign generators on the internet, I swear I am not making this up.

Quick Post

For all of you who read my last post then noticed I didn't post for a while: I have not commited ritual seppuku. Sorry to dash all of your hopes for an exciting story. I just have enough time to drop off a quick picture.

This is Supposed to Be a No Sappy Zone

But, man, tonight is depressing. Almost everybody is gone. I have one more test tomorrow morning and I'm leaving too. Summer never looked so long. Once I get home it will be cool but right now, I'm starting to miss people. I have never in the entire time I've known most of my Marquette friends, gone more than a month without seeing them.

Perhaps a song would be appropriate.

Or maybe not. But it's already there so listen to it.

(Big Dismal - Missing You)

Sorry to Ruin Your Hyperbole…

The email I got from Apple announcing that Dave Matthews Band's new album will now be availble on iTunes was good news, but had the distinct odor of bovine fecal matter (no, thank you Texas Justice).

Stand Up, available only on iTunes, marks a return to a more natural sound that emphasizes their loose, elastic rhythms. The first time that music by the Dave Matthews Band has been available digitally, this new album comes with a digital booklet and a video download.

First of all, Stand Up is not only available on iTunes. It can be purchased in stores and through the Dave Matthews Band website (in this newfangled "compact disc" format too!). I guess it would be safe to say that it is the only legal place to buy it digitally.

Second, this isn't the first time that Dave Matthews Band music has been available digitally. Only counting legal distribution, I Did It was released through Napster back in the days of its battles with Metallica. Then DMB struck a deal with the new, legal Napster.com to have all their songs available for download at a price.

Other than that though, I bet it's really true that the album comes with a video download. Kind of like a low-quality version of the video you can get if you buy the CD/DVD double disc for only $2 more than the price of the regular album!

Please, iTunes, I love you but we need more honesty in this relationship.

Want to See Some Ugly Kids?

I know where to go!

Keep checking back, because this site is under construction. More to come on May 20, they tell us.

On a side note, how did they get models for this site?

Photographer: Ma'am, we think your kid would make a great model. Can we take some pictures?
Mother: Sure. What is it for?
Photographer: Our new website called Ugly Kids.

The more I look at those pictures, I realize that the kids aren't actually that ugly. They've been crudely Photoshopped into the little sideshow attractions they are now.

Cubs Fans Smell Like Poo

Well, not all Cubs fans. I know a few who are more like armpit.

But the guys who rag on Steve Bartman are definitely the pooiest. I say this because I'm watching a special on ESPN about Mr. Bartman and the Cubs game. They threw stuff at him and were getting so violent that he had to be escorted out for his own safety. I realize the fans were mad but that was totally uncalled for. That's what beer and frustration do to people.

If I had to put a percentage on it, I would say that Bartman deserves maybe nothing% of the blame. The rest goes to various Cubs for not playing baseball. Here's how ESPN ranks the top five reasons:

5) Alou loses his cool. With Alou jumping up and down and yelling, the rest of the team got worked up too.
4) Dusty Baker doesn't do anything. The team was shaken, but he didn't even leave the dugout to talk to them until after the lead was blown.
3) Alex Gonzalez messed up the easy groundball. That probably relates to #4, Dusty Baker's failure to calm the team down.
2) Losing game 7. A Harvard professor did the math and discovered that the Cubs still had a 91% chance of winning the game, even after the dropped ball.
1) The Marlins were better.

Darth Vader M&M!

I'm sure you're wondering what this is. And I would tell you right now, except that then the text wouldn't wrap around the picture. Instead I'll keep you in suspense for a few more words then say "HERE!" Feel better now?

Darn, that picture is just way bigger than any text I can justify using to describe it.

Two Cents on the Pope

I've been meaning to post about the election of Pope Benedict XVI but hey, I'm lazy. And busy lately too. Instead, I'm going to shamelessly link to an article I wrote on another blog.

Tribune v. Ratzinger