I miss my iPod. How did I go 19 years of my life without one? What accompanied me on long walks to and from classes and between buildings at night? And yet, only a month after I bought it, my iPod is, for all intents and purposes, dead. It still has battery power and plugs properly into my computer. The hard drive is still spinning as usual but it can't receive commands from me, its master. The scroll wheel and clicker buttons are kaput. I have to send it in to Apple Care, where they will probably keep it for a month, tinker with it until it works then charge me return shipping to get it back. In the mean time I will walk these empty streets on the boulevard of broken technologies. It is a lonely road but it's the only one I've ever known.
What Did I Do Before My iPod?
All over the world, life is hard. In Indonesia people are recovering from losing everything in the tsunami. In India children are starving in the streets. People are killed by wars and oppressive regimes. And yet, here is my whiny little post.
I miss my iPod. How did I go 19 years of my life without one? What accompanied me on long walks to and from classes and between buildings at night? And yet, only a month after I bought it, my iPod is, for all intents and purposes, dead. It still has battery power and plugs properly into my computer. The hard drive is still spinning as usual but it can't receive commands from me, its master. The scroll wheel and clicker buttons are kaput. I have to send it in to Apple Care, where they will probably keep it for a month, tinker with it until it works then charge me return shipping to get it back. In the mean time I will walk these empty streets on the boulevard of broken technologies. It is a lonely road but it's the only one I've ever known.
I miss my iPod. How did I go 19 years of my life without one? What accompanied me on long walks to and from classes and between buildings at night? And yet, only a month after I bought it, my iPod is, for all intents and purposes, dead. It still has battery power and plugs properly into my computer. The hard drive is still spinning as usual but it can't receive commands from me, its master. The scroll wheel and clicker buttons are kaput. I have to send it in to Apple Care, where they will probably keep it for a month, tinker with it until it works then charge me return shipping to get it back. In the mean time I will walk these empty streets on the boulevard of broken technologies. It is a lonely road but it's the only one I've ever known.
I've Got Plenty of Time!
Over a billion seconds!
Sadly, I will be outlived by Britney Spears
Thanks to DeathClock.com
PS, I googled Britney Spears, hoping to put picture on this post. Unfortunately, all the pictures Google turned up on the first page were fairly inappropriate for my target audience (non-perverts), so I gave up. Sorry for the inconvenience.
Sadly, I will be outlived by Britney Spears
Thanks to DeathClock.com
PS, I googled Britney Spears, hoping to put picture on this post. Unfortunately, all the pictures Google turned up on the first page were fairly inappropriate for my target audience (non-perverts), so I gave up. Sorry for the inconvenience.
Spring 2005!
Dave Matthews Band is putting out a new studio album in Spring 2005, according to the appropriately named dmbnewstudioalbum.com. There's not much there now, but more will come. Supposedly, someone hacked the site and found the next update. I haven't seen it yet, but there is a link in the discussion on AntsMarching.org's forums.
All Rise! Higher, Please!
I just accidentally bought two pairs of medium-rise mens' pants. I didn't even realize there was such thing as medium-rise pants. At least until I put them on. Then I realized pretty quickly that they were a little tight around the, um, "inseam region."
What is the idea behind low-rise mens's pants (there were some of those at the store too)? Please help. I'm not being rhetorical. I'm really stumped.
What is the idea behind low-rise mens's pants (there were some of those at the store too)? Please help. I'm not being rhetorical. I'm really stumped.
Since We're Taking Quizzes…
Are you a music nerd? I know you tell yourself that when you look in the mirror in the morning. But do you have the guts to find out if it's really true? If so, click here.
I scored a 24.6%. Apparently that's good enough to make me a "Total Music Nerd."
I scored a 24.6%. Apparently that's good enough to make me a "Total Music Nerd."
Thanks a Lot, Sharkey
He said it was the worst personality quiz ever and he was right.
Let's see… one right (you know which one, smart aleck!) The rest are all either "no" or "I hope not."
Sorry about the grandkids, mom!
Let's see… one right (you know which one, smart aleck!) The rest are all either "no" or "I hope not."
Sorry about the grandkids, mom!
I Got a New Toothbrush
Yes, after being sick for the last 24 hours, I decided my toothbrush probably wasn't fit to be put in my mouth again. It's always sad to take Old Yeller back to the trash can in the bathroom, but I swallowed my emotion (and a big gulp of Scope to calm my nerves) and put it down.
My new toothbrush is very complicated. I'm used to the thin white bristles. I'm also used to the thin colored bristles. What I can't get used to are the thick rubber fingers that are attached to the head of the toothbrush. I was confused until I read the label of my toothbrush package. It said the rubber fingers were for "massaging" my gums. Maybe I'm missing something, but I have no idea why my gums need to be massaged at all. Do they do any work? They don't hold my teeth in. That's the job of the periondontal ligament. (Most scientist refer to it as "the teeth holder thingy." Most people from Arkansas refer to it as "the tooth holder thingy.") In fact, my gums are a lot like Vanna White. Sure, they touch the white squares, but what do they actually do? Nothing! They're just there for show.
If we're going to be working massagers into random hygiene products, I can think of better ones. Take deodorant for example. Wouldn't it be great to go to work every morning knowing not only that you smell fresh, but also that that special "getting tickled by midgets" feeling would last all day too?
Or Dr. Scholl's(©) shoe pads. You'll never want to take your shoes off again! And it would be better for everyone else if you didn't.
My new toothbrush is very complicated. I'm used to the thin white bristles. I'm also used to the thin colored bristles. What I can't get used to are the thick rubber fingers that are attached to the head of the toothbrush. I was confused until I read the label of my toothbrush package. It said the rubber fingers were for "massaging" my gums. Maybe I'm missing something, but I have no idea why my gums need to be massaged at all. Do they do any work? They don't hold my teeth in. That's the job of the periondontal ligament. (Most scientist refer to it as "the teeth holder thingy." Most people from Arkansas refer to it as "the tooth holder thingy.") In fact, my gums are a lot like Vanna White. Sure, they touch the white squares, but what do they actually do? Nothing! They're just there for show.
If we're going to be working massagers into random hygiene products, I can think of better ones. Take deodorant for example. Wouldn't it be great to go to work every morning knowing not only that you smell fresh, but also that that special "getting tickled by midgets" feeling would last all day too?
Or Dr. Scholl's(©) shoe pads. You'll never want to take your shoes off again! And it would be better for everyone else if you didn't.
Red Pill, Red Hat
I just saw a guy who looked like Morpheus walking down the street. He was big and tough looking and he even had similar sunglasses. But he was wearing a Santa hat!
+ 
= Weird.
+ = Weird.
Lap pillows. They don't go on your lap--they are a lap.
Latest News on Eagles/Warriors
Thanks to Tommy for writing this excellent opinion piece.
Marquette Board of Trustees reached decision: They are indeed girly-men.
After 6 months of controversey on the debate between Marquette's nickname of the Golden Eagles verses the former nickname of Warriors, the board of trustees finaly came to a decision. They infact decidecd yesterday that they were not going to decide.
One board member was quoted as saying, "I am really too scared to decide. Either way someone will be upset and will probably hurt me. Thats just not the Jesuit ideal."
Spokesmen from groups on all sides of the issues spoke out after the decison of no decision. Students For Warriors supporter Brian Collar was seen toting his big flag chasing down a board member calling him a no good overpaid girly man.
Representatives of the Demonstration for Dignity who were oppossed to the Warriors could not be reached as they were planning their next event. Apparently they are off to defend squirrels in the Marquette area stating that the term "garbage eating rodents" simply is not supporting the squirrels dignity.
Students for Hilltoppers are still yet to be seen.
Man Massacres Nightclub. Journalist Does His Own Job on the English Language
According to nbc41.com.
"It was unclear as to whom shot the alleged gunman."
NO! It was unclear who shot the alleged gunman. "Who" is used when the unknown person is the subject of the sentence. "Whom" is used when the unknown person is the object of the sentence. You could also properly say "It was unclear whom the gunman shot."
An easy test is to insert "he" into the sentence and see if it makes sense. You wouldn't say "It was unclear if him shot the gunman." You could say "It was unclear if he shot the gunman."
Looks like my work here is done.
"It was unclear as to whom shot the alleged gunman."
NO! It was unclear who shot the alleged gunman. "Who" is used when the unknown person is the subject of the sentence. "Whom" is used when the unknown person is the object of the sentence. You could also properly say "It was unclear whom the gunman shot."
An easy test is to insert "he" into the sentence and see if it makes sense. You wouldn't say "It was unclear if him shot the gunman." You could say "It was unclear if he shot the gunman."
Looks like my work here is done.
I Had a Really Funny Image of a Dancing Bear…
…but I can't find it now. I know it's somewhere online so I'll put it right here for you once I've relocated it.
This ESPN Poll is Ridiculous
^Like, yeah, man.
Nice picture, too.
ESPN.com has a poll asking how people feel about the report that Barry Bonds took steroids. They ask some good questions, but their answers are ridiculous. Their options are so extreme that there isn't any room between "I want to lick Barry's shoes clean" and "Burn, Barry, burn."
One questions asks:
"8) How will Barry Bonds be remembered years from now?
•Greatest HR hitter of all-time
•Greatest HR hitter of his era
•Steroid user"
There isn't anywhere for me to put my opinion that he is among the best of all time, but not the greatest. Not even necessarily the best of his era. And there will probably be a bit of a stain on his memory from steroid speculation, but I don't see it keeping him out of the Hall of Fame or anything like that. To use a political metaphor, I think he will be remembered more like Bill Clinton than Richard Nixon.
Here are some reactions to ESPN.com's story.
I'm not sure how long those links will stay up, so if you can't connect to this story in a couple of days, leave a comment and I'll send you your money back.
Nice picture, too.
ESPN.com has a poll asking how people feel about the report that Barry Bonds took steroids. They ask some good questions, but their answers are ridiculous. Their options are so extreme that there isn't any room between "I want to lick Barry's shoes clean" and "Burn, Barry, burn."
One questions asks:
"8) How will Barry Bonds be remembered years from now?
•Greatest HR hitter of all-time
•Greatest HR hitter of his era
•Steroid user"
There isn't anywhere for me to put my opinion that he is among the best of all time, but not the greatest. Not even necessarily the best of his era. And there will probably be a bit of a stain on his memory from steroid speculation, but I don't see it keeping him out of the Hall of Fame or anything like that. To use a political metaphor, I think he will be remembered more like Bill Clinton than Richard Nixon.
Here are some reactions to ESPN.com's story.
I'm not sure how long those links will stay up, so if you can't connect to this story in a couple of days, leave a comment and I'll send you your money back.
Honest, Professor, I Wanted to Do My Homework.
I wasn't in a great mood after my run-in with a bum-with-attitude today. But then, it snowed.
Oh, did it snow.
Oh, how the snow goes.
It snowed on a fox,
And on Kevin Knox,
And even on homeless guys in a box.
No, thank you, Dr. Seuss.
After the Bellarmine meeting, the snow was about half an inch deep. It was fluffy and wet, just like professional snowballers like it. No had even walked on it yet. It was perfectly smooth, pristine and beautiful. Naturally, we jumped right in with a giant snowball fight.
Tom, Becky, Rebecca, Jose and I pelted each other with snowballs for almost half an hour. I had snow in my hair, coat, shirt, shoes and pants. I like to think that I got off lighter than the rest of them.
It was Jose's first actual snowfall (he's from Chile), so he was impressed by the whole thing. We made a snowman. Jose couldn't believe people actually rolled balls of snow on the ground to make snowmen. "I've only seen this on Snoopy!" he said. The snowman had four segments and looked kind of like this. You can guess whe we named her.
After I had to go the library, but the pandemonium continued outside. For two hours students pelted each other with snow. Dan had a water balloon launcher that could shoot snowballs a mile. He was "going artillery-style on their a**es," to quote a source at the scene. I think it could literally knock someone out at short range. Not that we're going to try that tomorrow about 7 o'clock in front of Cobeen.
When I passed the Union, where Mrs. Butterworth had been, she was nowhere to be found. There wasn't even a trace of wreckage. I suspect she was entirely salvaged for snowballs. Hopefully there will be more tomrrow. Not that I'll have time to play in in it, since I didn't do anything tonight.
Now I have to go to bed and get 5 1/2 hours of sleep for class tomorrow.
Oh, did it snow.
Oh, how the snow goes.
It snowed on a fox,
And on Kevin Knox,
And even on homeless guys in a box.
No, thank you, Dr. Seuss.
After the Bellarmine meeting, the snow was about half an inch deep. It was fluffy and wet, just like professional snowballers like it. No had even walked on it yet. It was perfectly smooth, pristine and beautiful. Naturally, we jumped right in with a giant snowball fight.
Tom, Becky, Rebecca, Jose and I pelted each other with snowballs for almost half an hour. I had snow in my hair, coat, shirt, shoes and pants. I like to think that I got off lighter than the rest of them.
It was Jose's first actual snowfall (he's from Chile), so he was impressed by the whole thing. We made a snowman. Jose couldn't believe people actually rolled balls of snow on the ground to make snowmen. "I've only seen this on Snoopy!" he said. The snowman had four segments and looked kind of like this. You can guess whe we named her.
After I had to go the library, but the pandemonium continued outside. For two hours students pelted each other with snow. Dan had a water balloon launcher that could shoot snowballs a mile. He was "going artillery-style on their a**es," to quote a source at the scene. I think it could literally knock someone out at short range. Not that we're going to try that tomorrow about 7 o'clock in front of Cobeen.
When I passed the Union, where Mrs. Butterworth had been, she was nowhere to be found. There wasn't even a trace of wreckage. I suspect she was entirely salvaged for snowballs. Hopefully there will be more tomrrow. Not that I'll have time to play in in it, since I didn't do anything tonight.
Now I have to go to bed and get 5 1/2 hours of sleep for class tomorrow.
We'd Excommunicate Him If We Could
Conversation between a Muslim kid on my floor and the (Catholic priest) chaplain:
Z: "Have you read Orwell?"
Father: "No, I haven't."
Z: "Jeez, Father! What are you good for?"
Z: "Have you read Orwell?"
Father: "No, I haven't."
Z: "Jeez, Father! What are you good for?"
