Coming Clean

Recently Oprah Winfrey went public and announced what she is not. She, much like Superman, is definitely for sure 100% not, NOT, NOT gay. Seeing as the popular thing now is to stand up for who you aren't, I will jump on the bandwagon.

I am not a homosexual, a bisexual, a pedagogue or a polyglot.

I am not Homer Simpson, Homer Slockenheimer or Winslow Homer.

I did not compose The Iliad.

I am not a believer in homoiousious.

I do not work for Homeland Security.

I don't even own a home.

And, finally, so all of you will stop asking: I am not Oprah Winfrey.

Oprah:


Me:



Any questions?