Recently Oprah Winfrey went public and announced what she is not. She, much like Superman, is definitely for sure 100% not, NOT, NOT gay. Seeing as the popular thing now is to stand up for who you aren't, I will jump on the bandwagon.
I am not a homosexual, a bisexual, a pedagogue or a polyglot.
I am not Homer Simpson, Homer Slockenheimer or Winslow Homer.
I did not compose The Iliad.
I am not a believer in homoiousious.
I do not work for Homeland Security.
I don't even own a home.
And, finally, so all of you will stop asking: I am not Oprah Winfrey.