Coming Clean

Recently Oprah Winfrey went public and announced what she is not. She, much like Superman, is definitely for sure 100% not, NOT, NOT gay. Seeing as the popular thing now is to stand up for who you aren't, I will jump on the bandwagon.

I am not a homosexual, a bisexual, a pedagogue or a polyglot.

I am not Homer Simpson, Homer Slockenheimer or Winslow Homer.

I did not compose The Iliad.

I am not a believer in homoiousious.

I do not work for Homeland Security.

I don't even own a home.

And, finally, so all of you will stop asking: I am not Oprah Winfrey.

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Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

Any questions?

3 comments on this foolish article:

Ryan said...

are you SURE you're not polyglot?

Aaron said...

Yeah, I'm kind of iffy on that one. I don't think I speak enough German to be bilingual.

Ryan said...

not that there's anything wrong with that.