Go Ask Alice. . . When She's Ten Feet Tall

I'm in the middle of taking a survey about drug and alcohol use on campus which I was randomly selected for. I think they will also be emailing me a small cup with a lid that I'll have to email back full.

Whoever was writing the survey seems to have been on drugs themselves. Many of the questions that would seem to require the possibility of a "maybe" or "don't know" answer are simple yes/no. For example, the question "Does alcohol make you sexier?" Well, I don't drink so I really don't know. Maybe it would, although I can't imagine a possibility in which I would be more attractive than I already am.

Another "question" in the alcohol section was "doesn't interfere with my life." Now, not only is that not a question, it's not even a sentence. But even more confusingly, the possible choices are "yes" and "no." Yes, alcohol doesn't interfere with my life? No, alcohol doesn't interfere with my life? No, alcohol does interfere with my life? Yes, this survey does interfere with my sanity?

In conclusion, be like this guy and don't do drugs.
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3 comments on this foolish article:

Ryan said...

Okay. I will get right on becoming a dog in a trenchcoat.

Anonymous said...

So I am too lazy to get my own blog, and tired of waiting for people to post on theirs so here goes:

My Blog

Hello everybody and welcome to my blog. If you are taking the time to read this, it means you obviously lead a boring life and need to live vicariously through me. Today I woke up went to prayer/rosary, then surfed the internet for a couple hours instead of studying for biology. It waas amazing. I love college! So today i don't have philosophy class and Fr. WIll isn't going to be taking us to lunch. That makes me very sayd. :-( So anybody with a meal plan to spare should come on over to Noon Mass @ Joan of Arc and then swipe a bunch of us off-campus dwellers into McCormick. We would love you forever. And besides, we're feeding you on Sunday. Thats right it's time for the Thanksgiving dinner at the Girl's House! 5:30 on Sunday at 1529 State Street.

Oh I almost forgot. Today i had two big bowls of cheerios. But these were extra special because I cut up a bannana into each bowl and then added the sugar and the milk. It was yummy. I also like Friday cuz its the day I am allowed to have Oragne Juice. Yay

bye now!

Aaron said...

Who are you?