What if They Came in Crashing?

I was driving home last night, when I passed a local bar and grill. (That in itself isn't unusual; it's always been there.) But their sign noted that Crash, a Dave Matthews tribute band, was going to be playing there this week. It struck me that I've never heard of a Dave Matthews tribute band. There are tons of Metallica tributes, Creed tributes, '80's hair metal cover bands, and what have you. With scientific precision and a good 5 minutes of mulling, I formulated a theory.

1. How many people are good enough guitarists to play Dave's music? A lot of tribute bands cover music that's heavy on the power chords and screaming, rather than intricate strumming and picking. OK, it wouldn't be too tough to learn, but…
   
2. …Of those, how many can sing even vaguely like Dave's 2-pack-a-day growl and still hit the high notes?
   
3. And how many of those people know a really good electric violin and saxophone player? Also, I doubt if there are many people anywhere who can drum like Carter.
   
4. And, come on, if you're really that good what are you doing covering someone else music? You should be out there making your own.
   

Ergo, that logic leads me to the conclusion that they must be lousy songwriters. (Meanwhile, somewhere in Greece, Socrates rolls over in a long-forgotten grave.)

I probably won't go see Crash, even though it intrigues me. It's at a bar, and I can't stand smoke or drunks. And, being 18, I'm not even sure they'll let me in.

And now that I've made myself look like a hopeless DMB fanboy, I think it's time to change the subject.