Special "2006 Music Awards" Edition!

pooToday, after much anticipation, I am publicly announcing an award that I have been giving in my head on a fairly consistent basis (and the whole point of this blog is so that nothing will have to just stay in my head. It gets foisted off onto the blog-reading public.). Without further ado, I present to you. . . .

The 2006 Crash Into Me Award!
This award is named after the popular 1996 Dave Matthews Band single. Boasting those immortal words of love "Oh I watch you there/Through the window/And I stare at you/You wear nothing/But you wear it so well," Crash Into Me has taken its position among the creepiest popular songs of all time.

Winners have included Clay Aiken ("If I was invisible/Then I could just watch you in your room") and Shaggy (It Wasn't Me, lyrics not included in order to keep this blog from having to go to confession).

But this year's winner stands with the best of them.

James Blunt, come on down and claim your prize!

His hit song Beautiful contains a warm fuzzy chorus ("You're beautiful/You're beautiful/You're beautiful") that many people probably don't bother to listen past.

For those of you who haven't listened closely, let me paraphrase:

James Blunt's life is brilliant and his love is pure. So pure that he rides subways (while high) and looks for beautiful women. One of them in particular catches his eye. She's with another man, but that's ok because he's "got a plan." (Did he rhyme "plan" with "another man"? You betcha!) No word on whether that "plan" involves the "other man" and an icepick.

Soon enough, though, he apparently comes down off his buzz and goes home to have a snack. A chorus and half a verse later he realizes he'll never see her again. Great plan, Cheech. Go get some Cheetos.

But Mr. Blunt doesn't let that failure get him down. He knows that they "shared a moment that will last 'til the end." Apparently, ogling women on public transit is considered "a moment" now.

Congratulations, James Blunt!

By the way, yes I did just steal a random goofy trophy from a Google image search. But I'm going to Photoshop a trophy one of these days. Goodness knows I'll probably need it again. Songs worthy of a Crash Into Me Award come out often enough.

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