There's No Such Thing as Too Much Pirate

What's yarrr pirate name?



My pirate name is:


Black Harry Rackham



Like anyone confronted with the harshness of robbery on the high seas, you can be pessimistic at times. You have the good fortune of having a good name, since Rackham (pronounced RACKem, not rack-ham) is one of the coolest sounding surnames for a pirate. Arr!



Get your own pirate name from fidius.org.


Look out if you try to post your results. The code is ugly. I had to fix some of it myself.

And Now A Word From Our Sponsors…

There's never a wrong time for a Quaker Oats Chewy chocolate chip granola bar.

Not even 2 am.

Baby Got Book

"Baby I wanna read witcha
Cause that Bible you have's got pictures…"

No further explanation would do.

Spelling Nazi On the Loose!

Find the non-word in this article.

See, I don't just call other people Nazis.

Edit: Mea culpa. Apparently adaption is a word. Doesn't mean I have to like it, though.

This Is Hilarious

I hope it's true…
Link

Watch out for the Barbie Militia to come save him.

It Feels So Right It Can't Be Wrong

When you answer "all of the above" to a yes/no question, you know you've got it made.

It's a link!

Why Just Respond When You Can Post?

I was working on a reply to CrackerSnacker's comment in my music post, but it got so long that I figured it deserved its own post.

Probably you haven't heard of a lot of these bands because quite a few of them are Christian groups (and not well known in the Christian industry either).

For example, Earthsuit is a crazy sounding raggae/rap/rock group that's just a lot of fun. They broke up after their first album, Kaleidoscope Superior. The members formed two new groups, Macrosick and Mute Math. (Listening to Earthsuit or looking at their album art or even reading their new band names is a like an acid trip. Or what I assume an acid trip would be like.)

Burlap to Cashmere is an ethnic Latin/Greek/acoustic folk group. (Yes, I like bands that are hard to categorize) Much like Earthsuit, they put out an incredible debut album (Anybody Out There) that was just too different to get a lot of play on mainstream Christian radio. After a bit of industry drama, their label fell through and the band died out. Steven Delopoulos was their lead singer who now has an amazing solo album called Me Died Blue. If you have any experience with Cat Stevens or other '70's singer-songwriter types, you'll like him.

Relient K is just a fun pop-punk band. Lately pop-punk has become a whipping boy for music critics because it has gained a teeny-bopper following. Relient K is much better than that. Fun music and witty lyrics that really have something deep to say. Their breakout album was the hilarious Anatomy of the Tongue and Cheek. Their latest, which is also great, is called mmhmm.

Rich Mullins may well be the greatest songwriter in Christian music. A good sample of his sound would be the album Songs. He died about 7 or 8 years ago, but had an some unfinished demos for an album called The Jesus Album. They are rough sounding tape recordings that have been remastered to CD, but they're great.

The Benedictine Monks I mentioned are just that, monks doing chants in Latin. Their album is called Chant Noel. It's great music to put on in the background.

Other than that, the only song people probably haven't heard of is Concrete Girl by Switchfoot. It comes from The Legend of Chin their first album (no, The Beatiful Letdown wasn't their first album). A lot of people consider it their best work. I'm not sure I can go that far. All of their albums are so solid that it's hard to pick a favorite.

Pray for the Pope

I received this in an email today.
His Holiness, Pope John Paul II, is specifically requesting that we pray for him in the knowledge that his time among us is limited. Please pray an "Our Father" for him; then copy and forward this to as many people around the world as possible. Pope John Paul made this request about 3 weeks ago on praying the Angelus before the pilgrims in St. Peter's Square. At Lourdes a few weeks ago he mentioned being at the end of his pilgrimage.

Online Music Quiz

I found this at thejist.com. Feel free to copy and paste it with your own information.

My Random Top 10 Singles
(this is really random for me. My favorite songs change minute by minute.)

In no particular order:
1) Boulevard of Broken Dreams - Green Day
2) 100 Years- Five for Fighting
3) Fields of Gold - Sting and the Police
4) Daisies and Roses - Burlap to Cashmere
5) All I Want is You - U2
6) Whch to Bury, Us or the Hatchet? - Relient K
7) The Song that Jane Likes - Dave Matthews Band
8) Hard to Get - Rich Mullins
9) Chant Noel - Benedictine Monks
10) Rocky Boat - Steven Delopoulos

What is the total amount of music files on your computer? 1418

The last CD I bought was : How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb - U2

The last song listened to before this message? Said the Sun to the Shine - Earthsuit

Write down five songs you often listen to, or that mean alot to you:
1) Electrical Storm - U2
2) Pig - Dave Matthews Band
3) The One I'm Waiting For - Relient K
4) Brick - Ben Folds
5)Concrete Girl - Switchfoot

There ya go. I did this for you!

Hey World, Lighten Up!

Dearest World

My love for you is like the grass of the fields, stretching onward in every direction, blowing in the wind just like your beautiful golden locks. I want nothing but the best for you, my love. So I feel I have no choice but to be frank in my words with you.

I have received several emails in the last few days informing me of the horrors of a website that has, like iLazarus, risen from the CyberGrave of EtherDeath. Yes my friends, I mean BonsaiKitten.com.

While I realize many of you out there love cats (and that might also be the same mental defect that makes you want to send me forwarded emails), there is no reason to worry. BonsaiKitten.com is a joke. I think anyone who actually reads the site would be tipped off by many things, including this piece of "news", which I quote here (portions that should indicate that this is a joke are bolded):

"
News Flash! Bonsai Kittens save your brain!

Recent research, reported in The Scotsman and other news corporations, shows that the keeping of unmodified cats puts people at risk of a host of debilitating mental disorders:

US scientists have found evidence that cats really do drive people mad.

Researchers from Baltimore's Johns Hopkins University say their findings show keeping a furry pet can lead to schizophrenia, manic depression and even permanent brain damage.

Dr Robert Yolken and his colleague, Dr Fuller Torrey, who have conducted years of tests, believe a parasite found in cat faeces called toxoplasma gondii infects the human brain.

Worryingly, pregnant women who contract the parasite, can transmit it to the foetus, with devastating effects on brain development.


No doubt this explains the crank e-mail we sometimes receive!

The integral waste management systems of Bonsai Kittens, of course, prevent their owners from ever having to come into direct contact with the cats' feces, thus protecting them from harm. Your mental health is one of the most precious gifts you have -- don't you owe it to yourself and your family to make the switch to a Bonsai Kitten today? As a public service in response to this newly-discovered health risk, for a limited time we will be offering free disposal of your dangerous old cat with each purchase of a Bonsai Kitten -- please contact us for drop-off details.

"



If that doesn't make it clear enough, look at their link logo. Does this look like the product of real commercial site?

I understand that humans have a natural desire to change the world, to do something good for others. But Bonsai Kittens need your help just about as much as the endangered purple peanut-eating platypus. Meaning not at all, because they don't exist. If you are looking for a way to help, there are many worthy causes.

Right to Life
Red Cross Tsunami Relief
Repairers of the Breach (Milwaukee)
The "Pay for Aaron's College Education" Fund

Until we meet again,
Aaron

100 Years- Five for Fighting

To quote Peter Griffin, this song is freakin' sweet.

Listen to it in the music section of Five for Fighting.com.
The lyrics are amazing. (Thanks, lyrics007.com.) He describes a man thinking about being a teenager as he literally journeys through his life. He describes important stages of life as he reaches them.

What really makes the song is the way the melody and the lyrics work together. The bridge is a great example:

Half time goes by (A)
Suddenly you're wise (A)
Another blink of an eye (A)
67 is gone (B)
The sun is getting high (A)
We're moving on... (B)
The first three lines build as they repeat practically the same tune and rhyme scheme (A). Then the rhyme changes (B) as well as the melody of the line. The fourth line goes back to the A rhyme and tune, building to climax. It lets off all that steam with the slow, almost sad "We're moving on…" (Thanks to Paul for pointing out the bridge to me.)

So in conclusion, (as I try my hardest to make this sound like it was written by a 4th grader) this is a great song. Give it a good hard listen.


Would I lie to you?

iSpecialists

I'm on hold with Apple's Apple Care tech support team right now. This funky music is making me want to dance. If I had an iPod, I would cha cha like a fool right now. Of course, if I had an iPod I wouldn't be talking to these tech support guys.

I wish they would just admit that it's broken and needs to be repaired or (preferably) replaced. I don'think resetting it for the 5th time will get us anywhere we haven't already been.

Ladies and Gentlemen…Cory!






My good friend Cory started a blog of his own. It's at IntelWarrior.blogspot.com.

Everybody give Cory a nice round of applause and click over to his page. Kermit won't be happy if you don't.

And I won't be happy unless I post enought text to make this table line up without too much white space. This is enough.


Introducing…!

What Did I Do Before My iPod?

All over the world, life is hard. In Indonesia people are recovering from losing everything in the tsunami. In India children are starving in the streets. People are killed by wars and oppressive regimes. And yet, here is my whiny little post.

I miss my iPod. How did I go 19 years of my life without one? What accompanied me on long walks to and from classes and between buildings at night? And yet, only a month after I bought it, my iPod is, for all intents and purposes, dead. It still has battery power and plugs properly into my computer. The hard drive is still spinning as usual but it can't receive commands from me, its master. The scroll wheel and clicker buttons are kaput. I have to send it in to Apple Care, where they will probably keep it for a month, tinker with it until it works then charge me return shipping to get it back. In the mean time I will walk these empty streets on the boulevard of broken technologies. It is a lonely road but it's the only one I've ever known.

I've Got Plenty of Time!

Over a billion seconds!

Sadly, I will be outlived by Britney Spears

Thanks to DeathClock.com

PS, I googled Britney Spears, hoping to put picture on this post. Unfortunately, all the pictures Google turned up on the first page were fairly inappropriate for my target audience (non-perverts), so I gave up. Sorry for the inconvenience.

Apparently Being Funny Doesn't Make You Happy

Just really whiny.

A comedian who smashes things wonders why he never made it big.

Spring 2005!

Dave Matthews Band is putting out a new studio album in Spring 2005, according to the appropriately named dmbnewstudioalbum.com. There's not much there now, but more will come. Supposedly, someone hacked the site and found the next update. I haven't seen it yet, but there is a link in the discussion on AntsMarching.org's forums.

Thank You, Fark!

My day on the internet was really boring until I found this picture.

Click for accompanying story.

All Rise! Higher, Please!

I just accidentally bought two pairs of medium-rise mens' pants. I didn't even realize there was such thing as medium-rise pants. At least until I put them on. Then I realized pretty quickly that they were a little tight around the, um, "inseam region."

What is the idea behind low-rise mens's pants (there were some of those at the store too)? Please help. I'm not being rhetorical. I'm really stumped.

Since We're Taking Quizzes…

Are you a music nerd? I know you tell yourself that when you look in the mirror in the morning. But do you have the guts to find out if it's really true? If so, click here.

I scored a 24.6%. Apparently that's good enough to make me a "Total Music Nerd."