Showing posts with label Newsworthy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Newsworthy. Show all posts

What is Google Hiding?

Call me a loser, but I spend an inordinate amount of time looking at random things on Google Maps' street view. I decided to zoom in on the Googleplex to see what it looks like from the street.

Apparently, they tell their employees when the car is going by, because everyone is outside waving at the camera. Proving to me that Google employs the coolest nerds around, I found a guy dressed as Link, a wedding proposal (2.0, whatever that means) and a standup cutout of Marge Simpson. But at one point in the midst of the geeky frivolity, something sinister happens.

Shot one: Googlers standing around waving.

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One step further down the road: the crowds are gone, replaced by two men with blurred out faces.

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A further step: the crowds are back, with no sign of the mysterious men.

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Who are these guys? Why are their faces censored? No one else in street view gets their faces blured out. Why aren't we allowed to know who these two are?



I have some theories:

1) They're government agents investigating a UFO that was captured in the original footage. They flashed the camera with their red light thingy and it erased part of the camera's memory. Will Smith was too busy making serious movies to show up, so they hired Beau Bridges to stand in for him. Also, it was casual Friday at Men In Black headquarters.

2) Google is participating in a viral marketing campaign for The Ring. Their VP of advertising will be fired next week.

3) Mitch Hedberg was right about Bigfoot.

Whatever the truth may be, Google owes it to us to come clean. Fortunately they aren't the only search engine option. I went to Yahoo and found out that [Confidential Content Redacted Per Google End User Policy].

Just a Reminder

Today, the Shrine of the Holy Whapping linked to LOLsaints and mentioned how weird it is. I'd like you all to remember that the Shrine is really the most Catholic and Weird site on the internet.

The Best Excuse Ever

I wish I had had someone to avoid today, because I had a great excuse. I was actually helping a handicapped old woman carry boxes of food to the poor.

Also, Get Off My Lawn

While asking the Google about when baseball games are being shown, I came across this article about how some playoff games are only being shown on cable. Which is totally bogus, say dozens of rambling, semi-literate USA Today readers.

My personal favorite:
I remember the good old days where all games were on network one at a time, never overlapping. It is really sad to think that the networks don't want any of the playoffs. I blame it on football and soccer. Kids these days find these action sports better than America's pastime. They can't appreciate how great the sport is because it lacks the constant action they need in these days of violent video games.